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1 Arrghhh
Being a woman is so hard, why must they teach us that being a mom is so great or that we must have children. This leads to abuse, and people killing their kids because they can't tell the truth to anyone. There is no support for people who can't stand their children anymore or who hate being moms. You...
2 Pastor & Vicodin
My pastor is much more than just that - He's one of my best friends. I'm a teenager and he's in his early 30's with a wife and three kids and very happy. I found his bottle of vicodin while searching for a lid for his son's sippy cup. Every time I babysit (which I do for free) I steal a few pills. He...
3 I want to return to the church, please help me..
I was sexuall, physically, verbally and mentally abused from the age of 4 to the age of 21. I am a 57 year old black man, and i'm 100% service connected Vietnam Vet. I suffer from PTSD - sexual trauma. I was baptised when i was either 10 or 11, and I finally excepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in december...
4 Strawberry Gashes
I know you think I stopped cutting. I didnt. its gotten worse. I dont want to stop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hate you dad. I hate you for abusing me and telling me Im not good enough - All becuase Im a girl. I hate you for leaving and never bothering to call me again. Your 13 year...
5 Dark Past
since it was my first time that i will be alone without my parents, i do everything that i never do before.. i was like a bird flying after a several years from a cage. the taste of freedom is like a taste of finest food in earth but i abuse it , i cut my class just to go out.. being wasted then i realize...
6 Fear of Love
When I was a young child my brothers sexually mollested me. When I told my mother she would spank me for telling on them. This went on for years. And now after therapy I am still afraid to Love a man and Marry. Im fear that he will hurt me and this time I wont have the strenght to Live through it.
7 No Title
I don't recognize myself from a year and half ago. I made the mistake of starting to abuse drugs and alcohol and today it almost has a complete hold of my life. The drugs have thrown me into a depression so deep I don't know who I am anymore. I lie to everyone trying to hide my addictions. I'm barely...
8 Preoccupation with food and sex
My brother started abusing me (verbally, physically and sexually) when I was 13. Since then i've had a preoccupation with sex and have struggled on and off with masturbation and pornography. I also became preoccupied with food, I first stuffed myself then I became anorexic/bulimic and in the last few...
9 Abuse, Abuse & More Abuse
I have been sexually abused since I was 2 years old. It continued throughout my childhood. I was in care & those who cared for me did it. As an adult I married a man who abused me. he slept with a knife under the pillow to get his own way with me. I turned to the occult for help & almost committed suicide...
10 horrible Im so ashamed I want to change. Forgive me Lord.
Lord, forgive me for my sins. I believe in your word, your gospel, I believe in you and love serving you. Mi sin is so shameful that I feel that if I confess it my church leaders will think awful of me and never let me serve. I know this is not the best way to confess, bur right now is all I have courage...
11 So confused
I was very confused as a child about sex and sexuallity and at the age of 7 was sexually abused. This injury to my body effected not only physical aspects of my body but my psychological mental frame of mind was really messed up. i would experience with other neighborhood kids about sex and even with...
12 ME
God, Please continue to guard,shield, and embrace my soul. I am the perfect, imperfection. I appear strong, but my internal Callousness makes me weak. Many people say " I don't give a ____ . Well God, you know that I am slowly moving into that direction. I have tried to do right. I help those who are...
13 Continuing the punishment,self injury
I was abused and neglected from day 1. Abuse came in words,actions,it was physical, it was sexual, it was emotional, every form of abuse came to me. It continued into my adult years. I began to self injure at the age of 15 to block out and "control" what was done to me. It's a terrible addiction that...
14 Only 23
I regret every second of the pointless money that went into that pointless wedding that lasted only a few pointless hours. The years that followed were nothing but abuse, regret, and affairs. I'm sick of it. And I'm only 23. I'm so incredibly ashamed that signing my name on that dottted line will haunt...
15 sexual abuse
as a teenager, I touched 2 cousins and a friend inappropriately.
16 i hate my mother
when i was 6 i was molested by my uncle and half sister. when i told my mother she didn't believe me.she walked in on my brother being forced to give oral sex to that same uncle. she made him stop but never reported it or got counseling for him.my brother went on to act out the abuse on me for many years.later...
17 Unhappily married and talking to a long time friend I use to date
I have been in marriage for 13 years. Thoughtout the years I've suffered physical emotional abuse my husband walked out on us several times. He has been a heavy alchol user and marijuanna smoker over the past 13 years. He tried to turn his life around but fell off the wagon recently. im so tired of this...
18 SEX PROBLEM
I WAS RAPE WHEN I WAS 8 BY MY STEP BROTHER HE RAPE AND ABUSE ME TILL I WAS 11. I GOT GANG RAPE AT 13 GOT PREGNANT AND MIS CARRIED. I HAVE A SEX PROBLEM NOW THAT I'M 19 I SLEPT WITH OVER 100 MEN AND I CUT MYSELF BECAUSE AFTER I HAVE SEX WITH A GUY I FEEL DIRTY,USE,AND UGLY WHAT DO I DO???
19 Marley
I am still in love with my first love. He touched me sexually in my sleep, and i knew the whole time. I was awake every time, playing along. Then I realized how messed up it was, and pretended to wake up, blamed him, left him, left college, and miss him everyday. Not one single day has gone by that I...
20 abusing my body
i have done this for as long as i can remember. i do it because i need to know that i can still feel pain. I pull my toenails out by the roots and feeling the pain and seeing the blood allows me to feel pain and know that i am still able to feel something. i have never confessed this to anyone besides...
21 abuse
I am being abused by this whole world. It really feels like it.
22 I just don't know what to do anymore.
I am now fourteen years old, and yeah i bet you all are thinking "oh she's just a kid, she doesnt know what she's talking about." but i do. Here's a bit of my story, i just cannot confess it all. When i was younger my dad would abuse me and my mother then he randomly left one day. In about 3rd grade...
23 abuse
It struck me the other day... I was probably in one of the first waves of children to have been sexually victimized over the web by a predator much older than me. I turned 15 during that time period. He told me, at 15, I was a woman.
24 my life isnt right
wow i never thought that i would be spilling my secrets to anyone.i know that no ones life is normal but i realized that somethings in my life just aren't right.i used to think that everyone had a really hard and sucky life but i have been opened to different peoples lives and i see that my is not right...
25 I Tried Killing Myself, and failed.
I have been in a deep depression ever since I was 8 years old because of my father mental and physical abuse. I am 14 now. I tried to find the most painless, peaceful way of killing myself. I wanted to Start the car inside the garage. I had it all planed out. I was at my Moms house, Her and my sister...
26 It feels good to confess.
I was molestated by an older cousin at age 8. This opened a major door to sexuality. I then molestated a younger cousin of mine. Nothing was ever done to my molester,, the whole ordeal was swept under the rug. I started masturbating around 11 i think and engaged another cousin in some of the same...
27 elderly mom and abuse!
My mom has als and my veteran brother takes care of her and he is slowly going insane.He doesn't want her in a nursing home so he has decided to do everything himself.My kids and I cannot be around him because he has turned into a complete jerk.The hospital is trying to get us help but it is definitly...
28 broken
I am not close with anyone in my family, and as far as I know, both my sister and I have contemplated suicide. My sister has been abused physically by people outside of our family and I've been abused verbally. My past is so emotionally dark and troubling that I never talk about it because of the shame...
29 Abusive sister
I have let myself be verbally abused, mentally blackmailed, spoken bad about to my friends, all in the name of religion and teachers. Oh God, Oh God help them relise what they made me do. WHat king of mental anguish I had to pass through. And it all for helping the victim. What kind of persons they are....
30 Trapped
I feel so horrbile inside i am a lovely person but i have to many hang ups. I wanted to be married to a wonderful man who would except me. My husband verbally &physically abuses me. I want to leave he tells me he'll 302 me i am afraid and scaried. I am not in love i've lost respect dignity and trust...
31 Sexually broken...Please pray for me I BEG you
Ive had many bad experiences sexually from a young age,& abuse.It's ruined me sexually.I can hardly get aroused at all.It led me to become hypersexual during my teen years,to try to compensate, fill a void even though I was already saved.I was looking in all the wrong places.Now I am married to a God-loving...
32 betrayal and lies
5 years ago a friend of mine was abused by a pastor, I watched the church body turn away from her in disbelief and never had the courage to stand beside my friend and acknowledge he'd abused me to. I even denied that he had when asked about it. And now i feel like i'm living a lie.
33 so many sins
I've committed so many terrible sins which I am sorry for. I lost my virginity at 12, and between that age and 24, I had about 50 partners. I had 2 abortions, which both times my mother encouraged me. I can't believe I did that- it was so evil. I am no married and I have 2 children. I also worked as...
34 my deepest darkest secret
I'm not quite sure how to say this . . . I was adopted @ the age of *, into a wonderful christian family who i believe truly loves me. I'm now *, and still living with them. I have trouble sleeping at night because of past problems [rape etc] My adoptive 'dad' has gotten into the habit of helping me...
35 keeping fat keeps guys away
I grew up with the girls/ women should look great ,look sexy attitude to gets guy's and yes I did look great and I did look sexy and got hit on all through my teen years and 20's. But all I every wanted was a male to love me for me not my looks. I had a great childhood loving mother, no struggles all...
36 religion
I was virgin ,pious and religious girl,when I got married and my first expereince was of physical abuse .My husband tortured me for his pleasure until I cry.I left him and then my life was all down.I was raped,Then I found work and started living on .As my boss was doing dirty things with my body too.I...
37 abuse at work
My boss touched my body part ,talk dirty and ,do dirty things with me for I was alone and depressed.I told him I dont want it but he said I had to or else I wont have salary.I was working hard and was getting what I work for .Initially it was all fine it started in the second month of employment.I was...
38 My Father
Im a * year old male, who struggles with my father's rage. My father provides everything for my mother and I, but his personality and attitude needs "adjustment". My father has been diabetic for a couple of years, but his anger towards us has made me insensitive towards his well-being. Example: My father...
39 i'm sorry
i lied about being raped and sexually abused by a boy i hooked up with because i was too scared and ashamed to admit that i might have deserved some of the harassment his friends delivered to me simply for getting with him. i am sorry every day.
40 My Struggle With Sexuality...
I am * years old and I have been heavily involved in the church for a long time. I was physically abused and molested by my brother. I've been physically disabled in different ways for a long time but Doctor's cannot find any solution. I think my physical pain is spiritualy based.During high school I...
41 Sham
I am a woman, and I was sexually abused by two of my older girl cousins when I was 6. A year later at age 7, I sexually abused my younger girl cousin. We thought it was like playing doctor or "pretending" to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but as I got older, I realized it was wrong and I am ashamed that...
42 Cat Abuse
I'm an * year old girl with a creepy secret. Ever since I was *, I let our family cat lick my vagina until I climax. It started completely as an accident. It was super hot one summer and I was sleeping with no clothes on. The cat came over and started licking me down there. It felt good, so I let it...
43 i was sexually abused when i was a little girl
i was sexually abused when i was a little girl by an old man, my neighbour. he touched me and i touched him and we played, i didnt understand what was that at the age of 5. My problem is now i am 28 years old and i have never had any relationships with men.i think i am scared of men, though i know i...
44 The many exes
I have many exes, and most have hurt me, the pathalogical liar, the emotionally detached, the sexually abusive, the physically abusive, the emotionally and verbally abusive. None are worse than then other...they all hurt.. I just wish that I could be normal enough now to find a guy that won't...
45 I am a drug addict
I found God, and months later I found drugs. I found it easier to trust and take comfort in the drugs than God. For years I've abused drugs - and no one knew. Why? because I felt that I had to atleast look like perfect put together Christian. I appear to have it all together, but I'm really falling...
46 angry
i have so many secrets that leaves me heavy with regret, i was abused as a child and raped by my uncle. these acts lead to many other acts that i would do and ways i would punish myself. lead to many destructive behaviors on into my adult life, i have committed sexual sins and have tried to stop but...
47 Unworthy
I feel so unworthy I reject the very person who loves me and hurt her deeply. I am deeply in love with her and prayed for her before she or I even meet. I grew up in foster care I was molested,abused mentally and physically I was always told I would grown up to be worthless and nothing, I am scared I...
48 Sorry Excuse of A Husband
My wife left me and is now divorcing me because I struck her and never showed her the love she deserved. Not only that I refused to get help. And the second I did is the second she left me, I don't blame her, but lately I doubt God is real, I doubt his control and in general I just blame him. I have...
49 im sorry
When i was around 5-6 i was sexually abused by my older brother, i dont really think i relised it was bad untill a few years later, but i sexually experimented with my cousin and around 4 of my childhood friends. I belive i now face problems because of this, i feel like the only time i can connect with...
50 bitterness
At my church, I was spiritually abused by a sanctimonious bullying pastor. I was told I must forgive, even though he got away with it. I've never been ableto do this -- I am so bitter about it all.
51 wanting freedom from a sickness
I am a 45 year old male. When I was a 8 or 9 I was abused by my brother and cousin. They felt it was sexual experimentation, but for me it was attention, as my father worked alot. It was mainly me masturbating them, but it really messed me up. I became addicted to porn in my early teens, but as it was...
52 I wish I was
I wish I was a drug addict, an abuse survivor, an alcoholic, an anorexic, a bulimic, a whore, a lesbian. Because at least then i'd have something to tell people.
53 I was raped by my father just once
I was raped by my father one time. He took my virginity, he hurt me so bad I suffered all my life from this. The rape was bad but the abuse was worst if that makes any sense. Social services took me away from him for a while, and just when I loved my home I was in they gave me back to him. They took...
54 getting married
im getting married in 2010 but im afraid to tell my father hes not invited because the relationship he thinks we have doesnt exsist. im afraid that in the middle he will ruin my wedding or even worse hit me or try to choke me again.
55 From human girl to animalistic machine
all my life, I have been praised as a beautiful person. What most people don't know is that for the first 13 years of my life I was sexually molested by my dad, my uncle, my brother, and a good number of my brothers friends. I was four when it started, and all my life I have been sexually active in some...
56 Depressed and lonely
I was an abused child by my parents. I was emotionaly and physicaly abused. As a result I remain deeply depressed and sad as a grown middle aged man with a family. I have been lonley all my life. I am in pain most of the time. I feel threatened and insecure most of the time. My loneliness is so deep...
57 Food addict
I love to eat food, but I hate my body because of it. I have been diagnosed as a compulsive overeater, but I don't want to do anything about it. I mean, I do, but I don't. I was sexually abused as a child, but I don't know who did it or all of the memories surrounding it yet, either. This causes...
58 Drugs Make me A Lier And A Theif
I've been a christian as long as I can remember. Ihad a strong Holy Spirit experience in the late 80's I've used drugs since I was A teenager . History of child sexual abuse and emotional neglect.I"ve been to tereatment several times and12 step meetings I had a mental break down in1996. I,ve been in...
59 i can't stop
I've been bulimic now for almost 8 years now. It started when i was a freshman in highschool and now i'm graduating college.My dad used to weigh me every weekend i came to see him, they bought me diets and told me I looked like a whale at 14. I just can't seem to shake it. I've drastically dropped and...
60 I was sexually abused as a child
I was 12 years old, and my cousin, who was my idol, my hero, sexually abused me on multiple occasions. At the time, I was unaware of what was going on, and for many years after, I neglected to see how it has harmed me, until now. I am 21 years old, a college basketball player, and I have never had a...
61 Lost innocence
I was sexually abused when I was 5 years old for my uncle... I didnt know what he was doing.. but he was a nice uncle to everyone...I couldn't tell anybody, and I didn't... I know that my aunt, his wife, knew that because I remember she was always mad at him when she saw us together. I remember he used...
62 Faith.
I'm not religious. I always secretly wanted that beautiful church-going peaceful life, but I'm angry now. My life has been so screwed up, from bulimia to rape to abuse to innopropriate attraction. I don't believe in God, but I wish I could. What has happened to me has made me an extremely hateful, selfish...
63 *Abused*
When I was about 6 or 7 a cousin of ours was living with us. He was older than me. He wanted to always watch porn but I never knew what that was. One time he went into my dad's room and took out some VHS and played them. I was so stunned to see that since it was something that I have never seen before....
64 molested then scared for life
since i was 8 i was molested by a trusted babysitter for about 3 years no body ever told me it was wrong but since then i ahve been addicted to sex no matter the age or the gender of the person i know its wrong but i still look at the pornography and have some homosexual tendencies but i believe...
65 My life
I have caused alot of harm through my 26 years. I have also made it a point to ask forgiveness from all those that I have hurt including 2 ex husbands, many lovers, my parents and family even a teacher. Through this though I have also forgiven my self. I feel more at peace than I ever thought I should....
66 Sacrifice.
I would give my life for another. If I saw someone in harm's way, I'd place myself in front of them. I'd defend any woman, man, animal or child being abused. Not because I'm a good person. But because I want to die so badly. And suicide feels like cheating.
67 I am filled with lust
I am a 33 year old male, who has never been abused and grew up in a loving nurturing family. Strangely, I experienced my first "wet dream" as a teenager to a dream of being intimate with my mother. It was a very vivid dream, one that I can recall now if I try. Since then, I have led a normal life,...
68 i think i may have made a mistake
..i was married to a selfish man who never grew up.. for years i begged him to show me something.. but nothing... he was my best friend, but i never felt loved or appreciated.. he is the best father.. over the years my heart hardened.. then i met someone.. who seemed so mature and responsible.. and most...
69 here goes nothing
My mother died recently, I wept at her funeral but if the truth be told she was a nasty, jealous, piece of work. My daughter (her only grand-daughter) went to her funeral to support me. I'm the eldest of three daughters, that woman physically and mentally abused me whilst I was growing up. My youngest...
70 In love with him
There's this guy that I am completely in love with. He is engaged and when I found out he had cheated on her (and told her) I was happy that they broke up. Well, that never killed the relationship, and they just got pregnant and are happy as can be. Up until recently when she lost the baby. It's...
71 long time sinner comes clean
I have abused drugs for most of my life, I cheated on almost every person I have ever been in a relationship with including my ex-husband. I had sex with a woman, with married men and women. I am a compulsive liar, and I have stolen a few things throughout my life. In a nutshell I am a terrible person...
72 Is god punishing me
I am a twenty six year old lesbian but I love christ, I stuffed a hellish childhood growing up in foster care enduring sexual,mental and emotional abuse. I was eventually adopted and thought I was free from hell when a year later my older brother started molesting me it crushed my world. I know I am...
73 I kick my dog
Sometimes when I'm really angry, I kick my dog. I know he doesn't deserve my wrath - he is only a dog - but my anger just over-flows.
74 Lost
For years my father molested me when I was a child into my teen years. It didn't stop until I attempted to end my life. I thought I did something wrong and didn't understand why my father hated me enough to do this to me. At times, I couldn't understand how God could look the other way for so long. Because...
75 I dont Understand..
I am Fourteen years old. I have been through hell with my mother's drug addiction, have been abused, have cut myself, and i believe i am in love with another girl..
76 Done it all
Reading though these posts I am ashamed to say that I have done most of the things that others are ashamed of also. I have gotten an abortion, abused others physically and mentally, lied, cheated, fornicated, did drugs, smoked, drank alcohol excessively, been selfish and any other things you could think...
77 abuse that won't go away
I have been abused by my kids' dad,and my old neighborhood, and now the court system ~_~. All my kids were abused and they're heads are all messed up. I'm scared for their future.
78 abuse
My familiy keeps being abused and noone even cares
79 Will I ever truly forgive him?
My dad was a raging alcoholic for a few years when I was in the most difficult years ever (middle school). I used to lay awake in my bed at night and listen to him beat my mom and I was to afraid to move. One day when I came home from school I found him passed out on the kitchen floor in the refrigerator...
80 I abused my pets when a child :(
I abused my beautiful cat and dog twice when I was a child. Poor cuties ~_~. I have paid the price! Please noone else torture me......I will be eternally grateful
81 Addicted, Confused
Sexually abused as a child I grew up sexually promiscuous,paid for a girlfriends abortion, and later addicted to pornography. I've got two wonderful kids now and after being caught with porn by my wife I've been able to receive her forgivness and confess to my parents and siblings. My wife has fallen...
82 Prayers needed...
When I started High School I started drinking and doing drugs. My mom decided to send me to a christian childrens home and it hurt alot. I thought my mom didnt care. Well now I have found Jesus...for real and I have realized that I really need him. I am dealing with what my brothers dad did to me. He...
83 Homicide
I threatened to kill my stepmom when I was 12. Not alot of people know. It was over something really stupid, but she had been pissing me off for a long time and I couldn't take it anymore. And because of all the fighting and abuse that she did to me, my mom left her. I feel guilty that my mom had to...
84 Addicted to food
I'm maria Bliss, aged 38, live in the u.k. I started my food addiction aged 12 to cope with sexual abuse but at age 38 the addiction is so strong. I managed to get a grip of it last year (I'm sure thatnks to God) but it's back and I am so distressed.. Please pray God take this from me and teach me...
85 screwed up my life
i have lied, stolen, cheated, abused my kids, purposefully driven away husbands ( yes husbands) done drugs ( sober now for 30 days ) gambled away hundreds and hundreds of dollars when I was unemployed and while employed. I immersed myself with the dark side for years and it brought nothing but more pain...
86 anger
my ex boyfriend turned out to be a pedophile. he molested 4 children that we know of. he has slipped through the loopholes of the justice system and is free. i feel i turned him into a pedophile because i like to role play sexually and i brought the monster in him out. i hate myself. i used to be...
87 Homosexuaity ..... was gay, am gay?
I have always struggled with homosexuality from a young age. I was molested by a lot of different people. I am now 22 years old, i have slept with more then 200 men, i feel like a slut, i feel nasty, sick, and messsed up. Ive been to bath houses, worked at them, been to clubs, been to parties and...
88 Molested by over 50 people
Starting at the age of 4 years old, i was molested by several people. My mother always allowed different people in our home. I was abused by family, friends of my mother, my father, my fathers friends and people i dont even know. I have been through a lot of healing and deliverence .... still working...
89 i want to be loved
I have a problem with sexual sin... one day I wish to start a family and be happily married, I don't want this hanging over my head! I just want to be free and be able to feel God's love for me agian. I thought my relationship with Him was good and on the up and up, but then I stared having these problems...
90 A Pastor who lives with Guilt
I am a Pastor by name only. I have had many affairs and have been married for twenty years. My last affair was just a couple of years ago. I was sexually abused as a boy by my father. I think this plays a role, but is NO excuse for my behavior. I am ALWAYS scared that my church will find out about...
91 Kids
I hit my son in anger after he ran away from me in a public place. I was very worried he was missing for a good 15 minutes. But then got mad when I found him and hit him in the neck and leg very hard, leaving a mark. I hope he can forgive me.
92 abuse
i was abuse when i was born and until i was 3 years old and my birth brother and sister had it done to. for all this that went wrong my brother is like that now and i dont know what to do. i just think at times i be the same but i am going to i don't think
93 lonely childhood
when i was young, my mom told me my dad had another woman but that he loved us. more than 10 years after, i have never confronted my dad, and i dont think i can ever forgive him for that.sometimes, i dont want to admit it to myself but i hate him for all the verbal abuse and brainwashing. for all the...
94 Deep pain
Ever since I was in the second the second grade I have been masturbating.When I was 11 I was raped by my cousin I still cant stop. If any person has a method please tell me. P.S. I'm 12
95 please forgive me
when i was a child i was sexualy active. i have commited some sexual things with my cousin and brother. some people have also abused me sexualy. when i did it i wasn't old enough to understand it. to this day i feel guilty for what i did and i asked god for forgiviness. I also promissed the lord that...
96 abuser
ive always had a strong sexuality, and at a very young age i experimented with it with my cousins. one of them was a lot older than me and i idolized her and would do whatever she said which leads me to believe she manipulated me to please herself, that same year i tried to sexually abuse my younger...
97 My Dad Hits Me
It started when i was seven up till i was 14. He was an alcoholic then and has been sober for 2 years now... He hadnt hit me since he quit drinking until a week ago...he wasnt drunk which was weird for him to hit me sober.....my face was bruised and my acrilic and my real nail was torn off....i was thrown...
98 -
I was sexually abused by my brother's friend when I was about six years old. I have never told anyone one before.
99 Anger
I'm basically an angry man. Due to verbal abuses when I was in high school, army, and in working life, and in church. My defence network aand verbal dfence is poor. God help me. Anger makes me tensed and always tired.
100 Good gf; Bad ex
I am trying to break up with my boyfriend of 4+ years cause I want to do naughty, naughty things to other men and women. He is great 96% of the time the other 4% of the time he is verbally abusive towards me and feels his anger is forgivable because he has been a prick since he was little. He makes...
101 I am the chief sinner (like 1 tim1:15)
lets get it all out i am 30 male i have been addicted to porn (all kinds gay, str8, hard, solf, all porn the sick stuff too) and masturbation in locked into that too...i could not tell you the first time i started it has been so long...i have masturbated about 1 a day for 15 yr and porn has played a...
102 My Guilt
I recently lost my wife. I know that this is part of life but she was such a great wife and I was an idiot. Although I never abused her physically or otherwise, I was not a very good husband. I never really appreciated her until after she had passed on. I look at my three sons and see what a great mother...
103 Fallen back into homosexual hook-ups
I'm a christian, I've accepted Jesus Christ. For the last 10 years I've been living two lives. One as a believer seeking Him. The other as a guy having homosexual hook-ups. I've gone to bath houses, cruised parks and gyms, and online sites. I've engaged in intercourse, orgies, bukkake, one night...
104 self abuse/masurbation
i've been addicted to masturbation since i was like 11. I'm uncircumsised and so this has led to the literal scarring of my foreskin from lack of using lubricant. I'm so hard to this and it touches every area of my life and my heart. I cant even feel the pain any more, and so the abuse contiunes. I've...
105 my sad life
Aim a 22 yr old male. I was hit and brutally abuse by my father. I always felt different from others, was tease in elementary school I was a loner. I have always been interested in the same sex from a younger age. When I was 12 I gave oral sex to a sleeping homeless guy. And I also had sex with my 24...
106 Lies and hurt and more
I once loved a girl and moved in with her. She was suicidal and I moved in to make sure she wouldn't kill herself. Our relationship became miserable and she became extremely abusive. She had no job and lived off of me for 2 and a half years, then I discovered her numerous affairs and broke it off with...
107 annoymis
when i was really young i loved god with all my heart i was soo on fire then i was sexually abused by my step brother who was 17 when i was around 8 and it left me with a hole inside i tryed to fill with drugs and sex and that just mest me up even more i said i turned it over to jesus but i still cant...
108 War and wealth
I confess that I, as an average American, am wealthier than 95% of the world's population. I confess that I am part of a culture that uses far more of its share of the world's resources. I confess that I have turned a blind eye and said nothing while this abuse against humankind has occurred. I confess...
109 Lies about sexual abuse
I'm 18 years old and female. A month or two ago I searched out a website for male survivors of sexual abuse and, posing as a guy, posted false accounts of sexual abuse on the site. This continued for weeks, with me continually adding new lies about sexual abuse to the same website under the same alias....
110 incest by force
when i was 11 years old i was sexually abused by my sister and another member of my family it took 38 years to tell someone when became a christian i learned to forgive them but still struggle with memories of the past but i know god wants to heal me
111 The Girl Next Door....
You name it I've done it.. I'm a recovering drug addict and I've confessed all the harm I've caused along this broken road... all of it, every lie, crime, robery, drug, battery, scam, con, and cheat i've taken part in..except for one thing: I molested my little brother two or maybe three times when i...
112 I Dont Run
Most of my life has been a succession of one substance or another to keep from facing issues in my life: sexual abuse, abadonement, rejection, depression, etc. You name it, I've dealt with it... And all along I have been a believer. I was raised on the Word and know it very well... However, I have...
113 I'm Sorry
I lied to you. I never had an abortion. I never cheated on you. I never thought you cheated on me. I was never abused. I was never pregnant. I made those things up, so that you would stay with me. I’m so sorry.
114 Empty.
I grew up in a home where my father was "depressed" a abused drugs and alcohol. My mother and siblings and I have moved out, but I feel like he still controls my life. I hate everything about him and I hate myself for being anything like him. I've had recurring dreams for years where my brothers end...
115 My stepfather sexually abused me
My stepfather sexually abused me. I told my mother about 10 years ago. I was nearly 30 at the time. She didn't believe me at first, but he confessed it. She died. There is only one other person he confessed it to and I'm afraid he'll die and then it will come out and nobody will believe me. He is an...
116 Stuck in a lie
I have this horrific story about childhood abuse which I made up to tell to individual persons as it benefits my need for attention. I also really like the shock value of this story, the empathy it creates and the compliments it brings, ie "you are so strong", "good thing you're so smart so you got through...
117 Why Bother?
I've been depressed since I was a young boy,and started hearing voices in my early teens.My childhood was marked by abuse and neglect.The only human I've ever felt a connection to commited suicide when we were 15.My adult life has been a morass of addiction and personal failure.I've always wanted to...
118 Wanting Out
Two relationships ago ended after only two week. Right before Christmas, we got back messed around making me think we would get back together. We never spoke again. Right after him, I began partying more and more and hooking up with random guys. Then my last relationship, we began talking for four month....
119 26 year old male bulimic
Its been five years since I started flirting with an eating disorder. I was attempting to start over in the new big city, after four wasted years in college... with drinking, drug abuse, depression, avoidance and failure. I became obsessed with seeming successful, hip, modern... I had always used food...
120 Homosexual tendencies
I'm 21 and in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful young man, but I've struggled with bisexuality since I was in middle school. I've never been sexually abused, I've just always had an attraction to other girls, which I have expressed physically several times. I've recently turned to pornography...
121 hypocrite
I struggle against sin constantly. My past was full of drugs and lies and pain. I was teased as a young person and to this day have trouble fitting in socially. My greatest fear is that I will not be able to heal from the past. I am very alone and want to have a close friend and even more find a woman...
122 Confession of a dark childhood
I was sexually abused since I can remember. I can recall the faces, the names and the times when men in my family or strangers had put their filthy hands on me. It's sick & I feel disgusting. I knew it was wrong, yet I never told my mother. I was 5 yrs old when this started. The 1st person to touch me...
123 family problems
my elder sister molested me when i was younger and my mother would innapropriately kiss my little sister when she was young and i didnt stop it. My mother physically abused all her children and i think she may abuse my little sister but im not doing anything to stop it. My mother was also sexually and...
124 i need u God more than i kno
i'm a christian, grew up in a christian family my single parent mother wuld physicaly abuse us to the point we ended up in hospital. i'm gr8ful though she took me 2 church as i kno God but i cant seem to put to rest what she did. I keep getting nightmares of all the times she kicked me into the ground...
125 Why Can't I Stop
I am a minister and I am addicted to porn. I was abused from an early age. I find that I struggle the most with it when I'm hurt by Church members or when I have something to celebrate. I am so afraid this curse will be passed on to my 16 yr old son. Lord please help me. Please pray for my healing. I...
126 recycled abuse
i gave my life to Christ 4 years ago. I believe I've been washed and cleaned by His blood. But before I knew Him I hurt people. When i was about 14, i sexually molested my younger girl cousin of 11 or so. it happened several times for the next 3 or 4 years but to different girls. most of them were family...
127 I am mentally and emotionally abusive to the people I love.
My secret is that I am mentally and emotionally abusive to the people I love the most, especially my boyfriend. I do not mean to be, it's almost like its something I cant control especially when I do not get my way or someone is hurting me. It feels like a knife down in my soul, the rejection and the...
128 Abusive Husband, Drug addiction, Porn Fantasies
I am a 41 yr old man. I have had Drug addictions and internet porn addictions. I have lied and had sexual fantasies about straight and gay sex. I have Abused and hurt everyone. But the one I hurt thr most was my wife. I have anger problems and masturbation problems. I have not worked for a long time...
129 abuser- abused
well my confession is that i am female and i am 21 yrs old...i have been aboused and iv'ed abused too... i been with so many men and woman all my life i can't even rememebr with how many...i was molested by my older sister,,older girl cousin,,my uncle...and my ex-step father.... i lost my virginty...
130 From latinamerica (sorry for the bad english) 1
is a very long history. I made so many tings that i feel shame about it. everithing begas when im in first grade in school 22 years ago, i have six years when a group of kids began to masturbate an start viewing each others penis, in college somebody took me and rub his penis against mi but. Maybe seems...
131 Feeling guilty
Last summer I made the mistake of cheating on my husband. I know that i hurt him deeply but at the time we were going through alot. He has cheated on me twice, once before marriage and once during. Many days I feel like I dont want to be married anymore. We've been through so much (he has physically...
132 I am a Selfish Bulimic
I have been struggling with anorexia or bulimia for five years. I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused by my step dad but no one knows it. I also pop pills, drink, and self mutilate to the point where I dissacociate. My parents have recently caught on but they havent done anything to stop...
133 So many lies...
Noone knows the real me. When I was a kid, my dad had a stash of Penthouses-I don't know how it happened, but he came home to take a shower & I stayed in his room-almost urged to flip though these mags, dad walks back in after his shower-exposed. He encouraged me to "touch" it. I didnt & left the room...
134 unworthy of love
i am a 41 year old male. Never found relationships easy and have never felt worthy of love. Found out my brother was abused by a family friend when he was a child ten years ago. I now dont trust anyone, cant allow myself get close to any woman. But have such a deep desire to find a soul mate, yet...
135 abused as a child
i was sexualy abused when i was young but 5 on a family vaction. it was by a teenage boy that was apart of a camp that i went to on the beach. i'm not actually sure that this happend or not because i think i blocked it when i was younger and didn't know what was happening, but now i can not get close...
136 sexpervert undercover
I was abuse by my male gardian from 5-7yo. Always looked older so at around 14, older man would lust after me and one day a cab driver fingered me until I reached such pleasure-- I was addicted. Since then I started to dress very sexy and provocative, tempting man away... wanting sex... masturbating....
137 i'm disgusting.
i've tried to convince myself that i am in love with someone who is addicted to crack cocaine, but the truth is - i'm afraid 2 leave him for fear that he will hurt me more than he already has. i've disrespected and hit him thinking he will hit me back and then it will become clear 2 me 2 leave him. but...
138 I guess that you would call this...
I guess that you would call this leading a double life, but I do not know. I have some unresolved anger from sexual abuse that I experienced years ago. While I have been to counseling several times over the years, I still have anger that I will not let go. I am a very basic, loveable person, but I have...
139 we have been married for 20 years...
we have been married for 20 years and have 3 grown children. whenever we talk about something important. the conversation turns violent. he will hit & choke me, then says how much he love me & that he apologizes & wont do it again. this has happened all thur the years. when we are around over people...
140 He was abusive. Nobody knows but...
He was abusive. Nobody knows but me, because he was so nice to everybody else, but I wis trapped. I still can't tell anyone, not even my family. I am so alone.
141 I have had an eating disorder for...
I have had an eating disorder for about 3 years. I have become addicted to food. I used to purge after consuming rediculous amounts of food and now I simply consume it. I am so ashamed of my problem and have tried desperately to get over this problem but I have been going about it in all the worng ways....
142 I smoke pot everyday, but I don't...
I smoke pot everyday, but I don't really think I abuse it, or have a drug problen, I'm just afraid God might see it otherwise. But I can't stop. Addicted-yes. Abusing-I don't know. Also, my doctor prescribes me benzo's for anxiety, but since pot helps with that instead of taking the pills I've...
143 I loath me - I am always surrounded...
I loath me - I am always surrounded by me - I want me to die and for Jesus to take over so there is no more me - I have health issues & have been abandoned by people because I go to the doctor and take medication. I have been abused, mistreated, have lied, been humiliated, walked on because I don't...
144 It started when I was nine. At...
It started when I was nine. At the time I didn't understand that it was wrong, all I knew was that I didn't like it. I wish my mom had never married him! I hate him for what hes done to me and he just blows it off, like my pain means nothing to him. I went to my real dads house one summer and asked my...
145 I use cocaine (coke)...I am right...
I use cocaine (coke)...I am right now. i did it in highschool - it came up again in my mid 20s. guy i like had it & i did it w/him...i make bad choices w/men - i crave male approval - I give myself to the 1st bidder sexually & emotionally...ive a great father - its not him...real daddys girl...
146 I was 15yrs and babysitting. During...
I was 15yrs and babysitting. During the night I attempted to take a childs temperature rectally while she was sleeping. She woke and I told her her mother wanted me to check her. I never did it again but I'm tormented by dreams and shame. When I try to tell counselors about it I see they are legally...
147 I was sexually abused from age...
I was sexually abused from age 6 until 13 by my sister who is 5 years older then me.It finally stop when my sister was kicked out of the houes.Im 16 now i had to move in with my aunt when my sister came but home.Im happy here with my aunt i love life i love god but when i think about the memories i want...
148 Ive had a hard life.i was born...
Ive had a hard life.i was born 2 1/2 months premature.my real dad left before i was born leaving my 13 yr old mother and her one yr old son to fend for thier selves on the street. no money for abortion my mother had me the same day that my big brother died by a drive bullet. Then my mother got remarried....
149 I didn't realize that I had a secret...
I didn't realize that I had a secret until tears rolled from my eyes at church during a MY SECRET service.I realized that I don't love myself. This is the reason behind letting men into my life who abuse me,beat me,cheat,lye,and use me. I even married knowing it would be distructive. The moment I said...
150 I am a 51 year old female. I struggle...
I am a 51 year old female. I struggle daily with addiction to internet porn and masturbation. I was sexually abused from age 5-10 by an uncle. It happened almost on a daily basis and no one had ever had the good touch/bad touch talk with me so when he lovingly started touching me I didn't know it was...
151 my wife is ready to leave. I abuse...
my wife is ready to leave. I abuse alcohol and I compuslively look at porn. I want to change so bad and my words don't mean anything anymore. She does not believe that I can change and I don't blame her. I have lost all hope that things can actually be diffrent. She has told me that she hates me...
152 I have anxiety disorder so i get...
I have anxiety disorder so i get nervous to go to the doctor because i obsess about health. although most of the time i eat healthy i also cheat often. The doctor told me my triglycerides were very high and liver enzymes were high probably from drinking often since then which was aug 06, i quit drinking...
153 I have been ina relationship for...
I have been ina relationship for 3 years with a very violent man. He says he loves me yet almost 4-5 times a month he physically and sexually abuses me. He abused me while i was pregnant with his son that I had to hospitialized. I went to jail for him after he had beaten me up so bad, that i went backt...
154 I'm together with a great guy right...
I'm together with a great guy right now, but I had a deep bond with my ex and we are good friends. We met up last summer and I thought nothing would happen, I thought my feelings were gone, but he kissed me(a lot!) and I hadn't felt that way a long time. I have never slept with him but I still felt a...
155 when i was a young boy age 6, i...
when i was a young boy age 6, i was moleseted by some boy (11) in the neighborhood. by the time i was 9, i had done sexual things with my female cousin who was a about a year younger then me. when i was 10 i started touching my little sister who is 5 years younger then me. when i was 13, we had oral...
156 I was physically and emotionally...
I was physically and emotionally abused for many years by my alcoholic husband.I had him arrested for physical abuse and it has now stopped after anger management classes and doing community services at the church helped alot.I am a christain and my husband hates that on a daily bases but I still live...
157 I know that I was meant to be a...
I know that I was meant to be a different person in my life. I remember a girl that laughed, smiled, dreamed, and was strong. Then her "UNCLE", a supposed trusted family member began touching her. The first time she was nine years old and very confused. Then it began happening a few times a...
158 My husband and I have not had sex...
My husband and I have not had sex on a regular basis for ten years. I have tried everything to get him interested in me again. I finally have given up. I have filed for divorce and have started having an affair with an old acquaintence. I feel guilty about it. But I have no interest in staying married. My...
159 my dad and my mother beat the crap...
my dad and my mother beat the crap out of me growing up, now I am 17 and have started fighting back, and my parents got me arrested for assault. nobody sees the real me.
160 I am 17, I recently tried to kill...
I am 17, I recently tried to kill myself by attempting to jump out a window, but I honestly only did it to have my parents understand there is REALLY something wrong with me, I have abused substances, and I constantly think about suicide, but I have a little hope that I don't actually do it. After I...
161 I was sexually abused by my brother...
I was sexually abused by my brother as a child. I was always afraid to tell anyone. I have never told anyone!
162 i'm a single mother who is very...
i'm a single mother who is very active in the "church" i smoke pot every day and i'm in an adulterus relationship. my vision for my future does not include smoking or adultery (prefferably not the single part either). i don't exactly know why i don't choose to work twards my dreams. the thought of being...
163 I was abused alot when I was a...
I was abused alot when I was a child. And I have alot of memories from it. The only way I knew how to deal with them was to cut and do drugs. They were both addicting. I continued doing these things over and over and over again. I would rededicate my life and then fall right back down. Then at church...
164 MY UNCLE MOLESTED ME WHEN I WAS...
MY UNCLE MOLESTED ME WHEN I WAS 3 YEARS OLD. I GUESS I'VE SUPRESSED IT ALL THESE YEARS BUT IT WAS ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND. I'VE ALWAYS FELT WEIRD AND DIRTY AND EMBARASSED AND I KNOW THATS WHY. MY UNCLE DIED RECENTLY AND NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. EVEN THOUGH I WAS AFRAID I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT...
165 I am a married man, and I love...
I am a married man, and I love my wife to no end... flesh of my flesh. But, I am addicted to romance and sex. I've seemed to rationalize that habitually looking at porn is not cheating. The guilt, however, makes me ashamed to pray. I remember a situation that made her cry a few years ago. She has become...
166 I have grown up in church all my...
I have grown up in church all my life.After my parents divorced i moved with my grandparents who are the pastors of my church.i became involved W/my church praise and worship team and even began preaching.two summers ago i moved w/my mom,she's always wrking and i still feel the rejection like when my...
167 My life could go under so many...
My life could go under so many categories, hurt, lieing, shame, self harm, but they all come back to the abuse. My dad was my hero..my everything. and when he did it, i would always think next time i will tell. trying to give him another chance. finally after five years, i told. in a church service i...
168 I am a 16 year old girl who struggles...
I am a 16 year old girl who struggles continuosly with a lot of the problems listed here. When I was much younger, I was molested by my older brother. From that point on, I fought with lying, cheating, masterbation, lust, depression, and self-harm. My daily rituals consisted of cutting my wrists and...
169 whem I was 7 years old my uncle...
whem I was 7 years old my uncle abused me. Now I don't forget and I can't sleep. I never tell it for anyone. I'm 30 years old, do I shold tell it for someone now?
170 When I was thirteen this woman...
When I was thirteen this woman who was susposed to be looking after me for the weekend instead sexuall abused me.
171 When I was 4 my mom left my sisters...
When I was 4 my mom left my sisters and I with a man she had just met so she could "attend a class". He molested me. I blocked out what he did to me but I remember him holding me naked in his arms. The next day I went to my babysitters and performed oral on her 3 year old son. When his mom found out...
172 I was molested for many years by...
I was molested for many years by an uncle who later commited suicide. I think that spawned an unhealthy interest in sex. I have many sexual issues now. I enjoy reading incest sex stories and I fantasize about rape. While I never molested anyone myself, I used to makeout with my little cousin while I...
173 First, i'd like to say i have lots...
First, i'd like to say i have lots to thank God for. I have a beautiful daughter and a job that i've kept for a long time. On the other hand, what alot of people dont know about me is that i take many different prescription pills. All kinds, from adderall to xanax, most of the time all in the some...
174 My brother sexually abused me fo...
My brother sexually abused me fo 2 years. It was just a couple of months ago that I told my parents. I was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I felt so dirty and ashamed of myself. I felt that it was my falt that I gave into his constant naggings and threats. I am so ashamed, but I know...
175 In life, we each make mistakes...
In life, we each make mistakes daily. We forget the fact that there are those who love us for the cover and not what is inside of each of us. I own one of the largest companies, and am abuse pills and vodka. However one person turned me onto this page. One that I could have done something great with...because...
176 My parents have been divorced now...
My parents have been divorced now for over 11 years. My mom since then, has always been dating for as long as I can remember. She finally settled down with someone that she had met on the internet. Its been 2yrs now and he is living with us. I am now 15, and everytime me and my mother get into it, he...
177 I am 19 and my parents are in the...
I am 19 and my parents are in the middle of going throught a divore per say. My older brother is 21 and my little brother is 14. I am the middle child nad the only girl. I am being put in the middle and having to deal with my dad threating to kill himself, plus thousands of dollars in debt we are. Im...
178 I was raped at the age of thirteen..So...
I was raped at the age of thirteen..So 6 years ago. It was a very scary situation. I got so mad at my best friend, because she had heard me screaming and thought nothing was going on. This matter has scarred me, and now I am very untrusting of men. I constantly think that they will do something to...
179 For all of you out there, I pray...
For all of you out there, I pray and raise you all up.I cannot say I have ever been a holy person (only at a very young age), and upon entering high school, I was constantly high and drunk, at any given time (including during school). This doesn't just mean soft drugs, this means cocaine, heroine, crystal...
180 Lord, I drink the way i do and...
Lord, I drink the way i do and indulge in drugs just to feel relief. From a past of bitter memories. I keep on doing it and i don't stop. Why you ask? because i know you'll forgive me. I'm a disciple lost to the world.
181 I was sexually abused from age...
I was sexually abused from age 9 to 13.I began viewing nude pictures and masturbating when the abuse stopped.I have lived a life of sexual immorality but was saved by God's grace at age 38 and disposed of all porn.I went a year without any problems,then one day I rented an R rated movie.The movie was...
182 Ok i am a 20 yr old female and...
Ok i am a 20 yr old female and my soon to be husband of age 27 just told me a big secert.. He told me that hes older step brother had raped him at the age of 8 and that he never told anyone im the first to know.. i dont know how to take it .. cause that answers alot of my questions about how he is.....
183 So i've been havin family problems,...
So i've been havin family problems, and it just hurts soo much. Me and my mom argue all the time, and she expects me to be soo understanding bout everything, and truthfully all her complaining to me has just made our relationship worse. People tell me it's casue in August I'm gonna be leaving to go...
184 I confess that I am beginning to...
I confess that I am beginning to harbor anger and resentment towards my wife and her former b/f, as she was screwing around before we ever met. Her bitterness is a wedge between us and it becomes painful to be married to her at times. Her past is horrible, & I must deal with it & her damaged...
185 I think I'm secretly angry at my...
I think I'm secretly angry at my mom for divorcing my dad. She had every right to do it - he cheated on her and abused us all - but I'm still angry that she couldn't hold the family together. I know in my head that she did the right thing, but in my heart I can't let it go. I'm still afraid of my...
186 One thing after another It always...
One thing after another It always happens. The people I trust let me down. sexually abused by a babysitter, kicked out of the church because of a rumor a friend started, admitted to starting but the minister didn't want me around the other teens. senior camp staff member tried to rape me. band director...
187 My sister molested me when I was...
My sister molested me when I was eight. My mother is in denial over it. It has affected my ability to have healthy relationships. I fear that I am a lesbian because of this, I fear my whole life has been a lie, I fear I will never be happy, and constantly haunted by this horrible secret, I fear I...
188 I am not in love with my husband...
I am not in love with my husband and have not been in a very long time. We have a 2 yr old and I'm the primary care giver....I want to divorce my husband but I'm afraid to tell him....out of fear of physical and emotional abuse....I have lived like this for so long but now I'm determined to make some...
189 my brother used to terrorize me....
my brother used to terrorize me. he would come up behind me and try to analy rape me. this is when i was a child, he was 3 years older. he would whisper obscene things in my ear. he would expose himself to me. i think my oldest brother molested him. now he is in prison. ive never confronted him. the...
190 one teen boy lied to me and said...
one teen boy lied to me and said I would produce sperm if he broke the seal with his mouth. He gave me oral when I was a young teen. I feel bad he lied and I went for it. He also tried to get me to lay on him. I refused.
191 i love pot. its my world, my everything...i...
i love pot. its my world, my everything...i wish i could stop but i dont want to because i love it. i do it constantly, and i just wish that God would send me a signal or a slap in the face to stop. please pray for me.
192 Back in highschool I got drunk...
Back in highschool I got drunk and I tried smoking weed
193 I was abused when i was 8 years...
I was abused when i was 8 years old. i never told anybody until i was 13 years old. it has been 6 years since i have not told anybody. i am 17 years old. i am glad i told someone about the abuse. it still is in my mind playing like a tape over and over again. in seen it happen to me i been a cutter....
194 When I was a little girl about...
When I was a little girl about the age 11 I was molested by my brother. This went on until I was almost 13. I think the only reason why it stopped was because my grandmother caught us in the act. After that day I felt so ashamed and lead a life I am not proud of. I however managed to pull things together...
195 i have been addicted to drugs and...
i have been addicted to drugs and alcohol for almost three years. i started out smoking pot and drinking. it then went to presciption drugs. i was addicted to adderall for almost a year, but finally stopped.i still drink, even though i don't feel it is a problem, i realize that every night is a problem....
196 I'm 20 and graduated high school...
I'm 20 and graduated high school in '03. I skipped two grades, so God has blessed my mind. But I've wasted my gift. My family abused me emotionally and I never let go, and when I went off to college, it all caught up. I could hardly show up to class. I flunked out last semester, tens of thousands of...
197 I am in my second marriage. My...
I am in my second marriage. My first marriage ended not because of something I did. I found out he was cheating on me. I also cheated several times on my first husband but I would never ever admit my affairs to him. And I never felt bad about having affairs. Now my second marriage I am having thoughts...
198 I am now a 19 year old male. Having...
I am now a 19 year old male. Having finished 6th form, I've taken a years work placement away from home. This has given me time to reflect on my rather troubled past. I have started getting flash back of my child hold when my brother kept on trying to hug me, and worse, kiss me. I hated it but my brother...
199 I am a young teenage girl and just...
I am a young teenage girl and just yesterday my moms boyfriend came over and we usually wrestle and play around like in a kidding way. But one night he came out for food and we started to wrestle but he pinned me. i thought he was going to let me up again but he didnt. he grabbed me and started to...
200 i steal pills i think abouot them...
i steal pills i think abouot them all the time I makes me feel like a better person when i take them I have been clean for a week,pray for me God forgive me
201 I am a former worship leader who...
I am a former worship leader who has been hurt and abused by a couple lead pastors and betrayed by a few close friends. I have been married for 13 years and have 3 wonderful kids, however shortly after we were married, my wife began to ignore me and neglect our relationship. Years went by and everything...
202 From the time I was 9 to the time...
From the time I was 9 to the time I was 12 I was repeatedly by my stepfather. My feelings seem to conflict eachother. One part of me loves him, the other part of me hates him. My mom didn't do what she should have when she found out, and he's in prison now. I feel so guilty, even though I know it wasn't...
203 I was about 10 years old. He was...
I was about 10 years old. He was 25. I looked up to him. he was a father figure. one day, when my back was to him, He physically beat me. He beat me unconsious. This pain is too big for me to face alone. I don't know what to do with it. I'm sad this happened. i'm mad this happened. I can feel at times...
204 i make friends with ADD/ADHD people,...
i make friends with ADD/ADHD people, initially, to get their Adderal.
205 My father used to walk in on my...
My father used to walk in on my sister and I while we were nude. He didn't do anything. AT the time he did it to me my mother was at a conference and I was so embarrased I flexed my butt cheeks in an attempt to make levity of the situation. He later tried to have sex with me when he found out my sister...
206 I have an unnatural attachment...
I have an unnatural attachment to my sister because she sexually abused me. Any type of rejection from her "destroys" me. I realize I cannot live my life vicariously through her but I still hurt when she will not talk to me. I seem to be going through a season where everyone is rejecting me. It hurts,...
207 okey, here's the deql. I am living...
okey, here's the deql. I am living with my mother who can best be described as the devil. she manipulates with money, she tells me I'm this horrible christian even though she never reads a bible, prays or does anything spiritual. she watches TV all day but tells me I'm lazy. so yesterday, I finally had...
208 im a mother and im a heroin addict...
im a mother and im a heroin addict been one for 3 years now been in detox that did not work, i dont know what else to do? When i was 7 i was abused by my step farther sexually and physically this went on for around 8 years. I found out my step dad had abused my cousin who was also 7 he went to prison...
209 My mom physcial abuses me and my...
My mom physcial abuses me and my dad sexually abuses me and I don't like it
210 My dad sexually abused me until...
My dad sexually abused me until I was 18. I'm now in my twenties. I live in so much emotional pain every day of my life. I wish somebody would have noticed what he was doing and would have rescued me. I most especially wish my dad would have never hurt me. It's beyond unfair what I'm having to go through...
211 I have had a lifelong battle with...
I have had a lifelong battle with depression and guilt. I know I have a chemical imbalance but a childhood of neglect and abuse didn't help. I have had a past of cutting and trying to committ suicide on 2 occasions. It' weird my biggest fear is death, but all I want to do is die. I feel like I am worth...
212 When I was 7 or 8 years old my...
When I was 7 or 8 years old my cousin sexually abused me. My husband knows about it, however he is the only person that knows about it. My cousin is now in jail for molesting another little girl. I feel like it is my fault that that little girl got hurt because I never had the courage to come out and...
213 when i was 9 years old, my cousin...
when i was 9 years old, my cousin locked me in his closet and tried to have sex with me. every time i went to his house, he laid on top of me or offered me money to take my clothes off. i blocked it out of my memory for years, but when it came back to me in high school... it ruined me. i started going...
214 I like to get drunk. Everytime...
I like to get drunk. Everytime I have more than one drink, I find myself catching a buzz, then I am always very drunk by my third drink. I end up kissing strangers and being extremly suggestive. Then I wake up the next morning wondering why I act like a slut when I'm drunk. I'm NEVER like that sober,...
215 I am a meth addict. I've lost my...
I am a meth addict. I've lost my ability to cope... Instead I get high....it numbs any pain I might feel(emotions). I want to be clean...but I am scared...alone. I live with my boyfriend...he thinks I am a mental basket case. He doesn't know and that makes me very sad.
216 For as long as I can remember my...
For as long as I can remember my life has been going downhill fast. Everytime a crisis happens it just gets worse. I seem to be abusing one substance after another. When I gain control overing abusing a substance,within a month I'm abusing something else, from alcohol to perscription drugs. I lost my...
217 My parents seperataed my sophmore...
My parents seperataed my sophmore year of high school. My mom moved my brother and I 350 miles away from the life and friends I'd always known. My brother managed to find the best kind of friends. They would come over stoned, while my mom was at work or out with her boyfriend and sexually molest me as...
218 I see internet sites almost every...
I see internet sites almost every day. I look at the worst. I've seen child porn and it excites me. I hate it. I would never touch a child. But the pics excite me. And that makes me hate myself. It's not all I see. And I haven't seen it for a while. But I have seen it. And I'm in the ministry....
219 I have never been abused. I have...
I have never been abused. I have never been taken advantage of. I have never lost a child or done drugs. I dont have kids and im not in love. But i feel as though everything i do in my life is wrong. Every decision i make, or person I trust is wrong. I fell head over heels in love with a guy and our...
220 First and foremost, let me say...
First and foremost, let me say that all of you that have posted here has great courage to speak out and tell your secret. I was living as a victim. Many different circumstances (sexaul abuse & self-injury) in my life had made me vulnerable to Satan's traps of self-hatred, depression, addictive behaviors...
221 I have been married to a wonderful...
I have been married to a wonderful man for the past 5 years, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.....he has three children from a previous marriage and I love them dearly as well. My problem lies in my relationship with the children's mother. I have tried and tried to make things...
222 I was sexually abused when i was...
I was sexually abused when i was a child by a person i dont know. I was very young and all i can remember is that i we abused my when i was at the most innocent age. I dont know what to think but i do know from this experience, it has made me gay. I dont know if i will ever be able to change, or if...
223 My husband used to choke me and...
My husband used to choke me and throw me over furniture. He broke all of my valuables and gifts from friends and family... he has flipped my coffee table in a fit of anger. He is taking Anger Management, but now there is another kind of abuse... he ignores me and always puts his friends before me....
224 I desperately need help. last year...
I desperately need help. last year wasnt a very good year. i attempted suicide by overdose. ever since my grandmother passed, everything went down hill. she was the one who led me to god and now she's gone. i miss her alot, and i just recently started taking random pills to take the pain away. i need...
225 I feel so helpless. My teenage...
I feel so helpless. My teenage son is mentally abusing me daily. I stay in my room almost 24/7 don't talk to anyone hardly or go anywhere. I try to enforce the rules he gets mad and throws things at me or punches whole in the wall. He openly admits I hits walls or throws things so I don't hit my...
226 i inhale paint and bleach fumes...
i inhale paint and bleach fumes to get high and to feel my lungs hurt
227 I'm going to a residential home...
I'm going to a residential home for help for my self abuse, among other things. I will be there for 6 months or longer. I am afraid I will get kicked out or that it will all be a waste once I graduate.
228 Because of my addiction to herion,I...
Because of my addiction to herion,I lost my parental rights to my 2 daughters.I can't say i might deserve it,but they don't.I was clean when it all happend,but it was too late.it kills me everyday because I can't do what i want to do legally with them.I now have been clean for 4 years in december!!I'm...
229 soy un chico , tengo 19 años y...
soy un chico , tengo 19 años y fui violado muchas veces durante mi niñes por lo menos 6 personas diferentes abusaron de mi, esto fue desde los 6 has ta los 11 años eso trajo muchas dudas sobre mi identidad sexual. realmnete ser abusado es algo que nuca se olvida pero se supera ..conoci a Dios y pude...
230 I regret getting drunk again after...
I regret getting drunk again after months of being sober. Alcohol abuse, a sin, leads to even more sin- I visited an old coworker, got drunk with her, and then lustfully kissed her. Now I'm just waiting for all of my friends to find out. And they call me a Christian...I know God has forgiven me. I hope...
231 Shame seems like a good spot for...
Shame seems like a good spot for me to start, because I don't want to live with regrets in my life, and my life fits in almost category on here. When I was younger, my oldest brother would sexually abuse me. He was sent home from my Grandmother's house one night when they found out he also was doing...
232 I have something to confess...... I...
I have something to confess...... I have been chesting on my husband of 5 years. Our realtionship is sooo bad.. I don't know what to do! He is an abuser and a drug addict. I never meant to meet someone else it just happened!!! My nine year old daughter is the only reason why I stay.. my parents raised...
233 I was sexually molested by my babysitter...
I was sexually molested by my babysitter at age 5 and 6. I blocked out all the memories of this until my neighbor was murdered at age 11 and my father walked out on us 3 days later. I had to deal with all 3 things at one time. I have since then struggled with alcohol, promiscuity and suicidal tendencies....
234 My secret is not your normal secret....
My secret is not your normal secret. It's a secret that I have kept for over 10 years. I've put it in such a deep vault with chains around, so my daughter and I could have a normal life. Ten years ago, my life changed dramatically forever. I wanted to be delivered home by the fire, but instead God wanted...
235 I pray inconsistently and I do...
I pray inconsistently and I do not go to church allthough I liked church as a child. My parents never went to church and my foster father later became angry an God (and still is). I remember my life from about the age of 2. My mother was addicted to drugs, alchol, and violent relationships and my father...
236 I have a constant fear that my...
I have a constant fear that my husband will leave me. So much so that I have let him sexually abuse me and said nothing.My anxiety is so consuming I hardly ever leave home. I am now trying to move forward and not to be ashamed.I pray for guidance as I work to learn and live the difference between submissive...
237 I was sexually abused by my father...
I was sexually abused by my father as a child. He used me from age five to age twelve. It only stopped when I got old enough to empower myself to avoid the situations where it could happen. I confronted him when I was twenty, and he apologized with words, but not his soul. His apology emphasized what...
238 I have a problem with overeating....
I have a problem with overeating. I always turn to food for comfort. If I have a problem, I turn to food. If i am depressed, I turn to food. I don't know when to stop.I also have another problem. I lost a son to suicide ten years ago. I left my two sons when they were small due to abuse from my brother....
239 I've been married for 22 years....
I've been married for 22 years. My husband is a good father, a good provider, does not abuse any drugs,alcohol, or me, & I don't believe he's been unfaithful to me.My problem:He pays absolutely no attention to me. He spends a lot of time at work and when he's home he sits in front of the TV totally...
240 About 3 years ago, I was the victim...
About 3 years ago, I was the victim of voyeurism in my own home by the one person I trusted more than anyone on earth. I'm still pure, but it has stained my view of how I am perceived by men and it controls my attitude towards my fiancee. I'm scared to death about getting to our honeymoon. I'm afraid...
241 i am 17 years old and i am 4 months...
i am 17 years old and i am 4 months pregnant i am with the father of my baby and i am very scared of him..he is abusive....he hasnt hit me yet but he has choked me and grabbed my hair and pushed me once sice i been pregnant we got into a big fight today cause he says im cheating and i told him i am...
242 the first time i was molested was...
the first time i was molested was when i was about 8 when i was at my causins house. she was 7. it was 4th of july and we were watching fireworks outside and her stepfather made her go in the house to get a flashlight when she left he put me on his car and kept kissing me i told him to stop and he did..i...
243 I was sexually molested very young,...
I was sexually molested very young, I think 5 or 6 by an 18 year old male babysitter. I am very distrusting of people with my children, especially males. I have a child with special needs and I'm tortured with fear, he can't speak and I always worry about him. Please pray for me, I want desperately to...
244 I'm gay, not by choice, but because...
I'm gay, not by choice, but because i was sexually abused by anoter man for several years... and I'm shameful about it... I'm ashamed of my sexuality and i wish so much that I could be heterosexual... i just can't... I don't want god to hate me. I do... fantasize about other men though and when I'm...
245 I am scared. I was abused as a...
I am scared. I was abused as a young child by my birth father and later adpoted bu by step-father. I love both my father (that adopted me) and my mother very much but I am lost. I got pregnant at 16 while i was still in high school. I have my daughter now. Back in 2004 I got married to my husband and...
246 I was sexually abused when i was...
I was sexually abused when i was 4 and I still blame myself for letting it happen and blame my parents for not doing anything to stop it or help me even though i have never told them.
247 Hi, I have a confession.My early...
Hi, I have a confession.My early child YEARS were in abused state,I was sexually abused by my elder brother.Though I have never felt any tempatations from other male members.I have this one thing which I haven;t confessed to anybody.And i request you to pray for the release of the hurt from my mind,and...
248 I was raped almost a year ago....
I was raped almost a year ago. I was seventeen then, and still a virgin before it happened. Exactly a week before, I lost my best friend. I had my fair share or pain and depression and abuse in the few years earlier, and I had just gotten over some major depression and issues. But, "oops", it happened...
249 My whole life I have been emotionally...
My whole life I have been emotionally abused by my father. I am now 21 and 2 weeks ago my he hit me. All of my family knows, but everyone acts like it's not a big issue. This hurts. I want my father to know what he has done is wrong. I find myself not trusting other men... thinking they will always break...
250 I was sexually abused by my older...
I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was three. I don't remember it, and my parents didn't tell me until recently. now, when I lay in bed, i can almost remember what he did. It scares me. I feel dirty and I am angry that he stole something from me that I can never have back. When I was younger,...
251 Well, I don´t know where and how...
Well, I don´t know where and how to beginn because when I red the list on the left side my secret ocuppies several files. Double Life, Eating disorders, Pornography, adultery, lying, stealing, relationships, sexuality, past humiliation, shame, abuse, lust. And I thought maybe is double life the best...
252 Hi to every one i live now in puerto...
Hi to every one i live now in puerto rico but i was born in new jersy in the united state i no that i have to confess to my god and not to a man that why i want to start by saying when i was just 8 years old i was abused from my brother and then i did the same to every friend of mines when i was a kid...
253 I was molested for ten years. by...
I was molested for ten years. by my alcoholic uncle who lived with me. Im now twenty, and finally seeing that I can have control back.
254 To begin, I am a rape victim at...
To begin, I am a rape victim at the age of nine. While growing up, I was very mad at GOD b/c I couldn't understand why this happened to me. A lot of people used to think that I way gay b/c I would fool around. That's a heavy load to carry b/c I don't like guys however I feel inadequate with women b/c...
255 My husband doesn't treat me very...
My husband doesn't treat me very nicely. All looks good on the outside but behind closed doors he verbally abuses me, calls me stupid, lazy and makes fun of me. I feel stuck because I am disabled I cannot hold down a full time job and am financially dependent on him. I confess that I enjoy the time he...
256 I posted here before and I just...
I posted here before and I just read my own post. It makes me physically ill to read the words, "I was sexually abused". I can't say those words out loud.
257 i was sexualy abused from when...
i was sexualy abused from when i was born to when when i was found with the body of my birth mother she died from a drug overdose.now im 14
258 i have been bulemic for over 30...
i have been bulemic for over 30 years now. It is a miserable life. Not only do I feel out of control over food: for example, I do ok until I eat one thing that I know will make me gain weight or feel bad, then it is like a roller coaster having reached the top before plummeting downward. I eat everything...
259 I have been raped twice on seperate...
I have been raped twice on seperate occasions and blame myself for it because I was not strong enough to stop it, emotionally, mentally or physically... I never had the courage to tell anyone and didn't pursue charges, now it is too late. I want to tell my mother, but I'm afraid she will be mad at...
260 My wife and I have been married...
My wife and I have been married for over 30 years, but we haven't had sex for the last ten. I was a virgin when we got married and I'm pretty sure she was too, except for some abuse by one of her family members. We used to have good sex (not great) at least a couple times a month, but I never felt...
261 Sometimes I hit my husband, and...
Sometimes I hit my husband, and he hits me back. I was abused as a child by my grandfather, and then again by my uncle. I don't think I have ever dealt with the pain, and it comes out. Sometimes I drink, and when I drink I become a different person. It is at this time that I am physically and mentally...
262 I was abused sexually and verbally...
I was abused sexually and verbally and in turn abused others. I resent the ones that abused me, and I hate myself for doing it to my little brother and sister, and friends when i was younger
263 Hi, my secret its that i can login...
Hi, my secret its that i can login to a email account that is not mine, i know its not right but i can stop to do it, so i read the mails and know more about the person but i feel not good. she give me the password long time ago but i start looking and i want to stop please help
264 i was raped at age 14 by a boy...
i was raped at age 14 by a boy that my mother thought was just it....we never dated...he was our paperboy...i never told anyone until i had been married for 25 years....it still haunts me everyday not so much the rape but the fact that i didn't do anything about it...this boy's brothers all knew what...
265 For the past 10 years, my addiction...
For the past 10 years, my addiction to pornography has taken me from watching lesbians films, to Hermephrodites, to transexuals to bi-sexual and then to gay films. I have gone so far as to visit bath houses, book stores and theaters, to experiment with homosexuality and have had sex with men and transexuals....
266 I regret ever letting my stepdad...
I regret ever letting my stepdad and 1st stepmom ruin my life for so long. They beat me, sexually abused me. She told me for years that I was second to her in my fathers life, That since she was gonna be married to him I had to grow up and stop being a baby at 6years old. I allowed her to torment me...
267 I'm 14 years old, and I'm addicted...
I'm 14 years old, and I'm addicted to meth.I have a very drug oriented family.If you could find a drug I haven't tried it would surprise me.since I was 10 years old I've been in the game
268 When I was a teenager I was sexually...
When I was a teenager I was sexually molested by an older friend,who was married with childre,and with whom I though I could trust. I feel so ashamed and am constantly haunted in present relationships with what happened in the past. I just cant seem to get over it.
269 I went through a bad time in my...
I went through a bad time in my life after I got out of a long term relationship. I would go out and pick up random guys or even friends and would have sex with them. I had a hard time keeping track of who I was with and I don’t even remember some of their names. I particularly feel so ashamed of this...
270 I was a basketball manager for...
I was a basketball manager for my middle school. One night after a big game, everyone had left and I was waiting for my ride to come. I had been waiting with three other guys. They thought it would be fun to hold me down and take advantage of me, and so they did. I still have not gotten the guts to say...
271 I was sexually abused as a child....
I was sexually abused as a child. Recently, I opened up to my best friend who has been through the same thing. I also ended up telling my parents. They were shocked and devastated, but were not much help. With the help of my friends I have managed to feel a lot better. I believe I can get over this. Growing...
272 I'm 12 years old. My name is Sarah....
I'm 12 years old. My name is Sarah. I smoke pot and drink heavily, and I know it's wrong. People say i'm "emo", but I can't help it. Please, someone help me!
273 I lie to everyone I know about...
I lie to everyone I know about being sexually abused by someone because I hate him so much for hurting me and my family for years out of the domestic violence he gave us. He was a lunatic and I made him more of a lunatic to retaliate against him. God please forgive me. Please give me the strength to...
274 I'm a 21 year old college student...
I'm a 21 year old college student and was sexually abused by a guy that I liked on campus. My friend and I had gone to the dorm where he stayed to see other friends. I didn't know he stayed there until I saw him in the hallway. We talked and he invited me up to his room. We then talked some more...
275 i have been sexually abused by...
i have been sexually abused by my father and family members from as early as i can remeber till about 18 i have emotional problems from it along with being physically abused by step mom. and in my past relationships please pray for me to be realesed form the emotional effects of my past abuse
276 I've been a heroin addict for 2...
I've been a heroin addict for 2 years now, I have been clean of heroin and morphine for over a month now. My boyfriend is also an addict and told me he thinks about using when he around me. He has been in prison since March,and is coming home soon. I am constantly thinking about using, I get anxious...
277 Im addicted to Heroin! When I am...
Im addicted to Heroin! When I am doing it for months and months I hate it. But when I dont have it that seems to be all I can think about. I can see it in my minds eye, taste it, smell it... Ive been on some sort of drug for the past 15yrs. Pot, Meth, Coke, Heroin, Pills, Acid - whatever, but I like...
278 My brother molested me for 3 years...
My brother molested me for 3 years when I was a preteen. It left so many emotional scars that I feel like a road map inside my head. My parents did nothing. To this day my mother tells me to deny it when the subject is brought up. I'm angry at her. Those are 4 simple words but they affect my life completely....
279 My cousin molested me and I never...
My cousin molested me and I never told anyone. I blame my parents for not knowing because my attitude towards him changed overnight. I went from playing with him all the time to threatening to stab him and no one asked me why. WHY DIDN'T THEY KNOW!!!! Now I find it hard to trust any man besides my father....
280 I was sexually abused from the...
I was sexually abused from the age of about 5 by a sibling. The abuse went on for years. When i was about 6-8 years old, I thought that was how things were and it was okay. I began abusing my cousin who was a couple of years younger than me. I began somehow to realize it was wrong and stopped but the...
281 I have overcome many addictions....
I have overcome many addictions. I have been addicted to crystal meth, coke, alcohol...but I have fallen in love with pills and I can't see going one week without feeling the numbness and serenity at least once. It's the only thing that makes the pain go away.
282 im a young female, and when i was...
im a young female, and when i was about 5-7 my dad sexualy abused me. i finally told my mom when i was 7. my dad went to jail, but now he is back living with us. i know he is deeply truly sorry, but i think i still am mad at him because of it. when we argue, i have a thing with "blacking out" where i...
283 I'm a young female... and growing...
I'm a young female... and growing up in this day and age, the media and almost everyone around you just forget that god wants us to wait till marriage to have sex. because of this lack of careing from almost everyone, especially in my area... i tend to feel the same. like i didnt care anymore, and went...
284 When I was younger I started having...
When I was younger I started having flash backs about my Uncle molesting me when I was little and then I have a few memories of a family friend that were very strange. I told my family my Uncle molested me and I think he did but could it be possible the family friend did too? I am too afraid to find...
285 I don't believe in God. I want...
I don't believe in God. I want to believe in God though. I tell myself that it is all a big fairytale that people tell themselves to deal with the tragedy of life and the fact that they are going to be dead someday. I constantly do things wrong on purpose because I hate myself. I have to pop codeine...
286 I'm a crack addict. I have been...
I'm a crack addict. I have been for 2 years. I quit while I was pregnant, but no one knows I did it two times while I was pregnant. The 1st time, i was only a few weeks, the 2nd time, i was 6months. I didnt do it after that because i thought i killed my baby because it didnt move for hours. I was terrified....
287 as far back as i can remember i...
as far back as i can remember i have been abused (physically and sexually) by one person or another. if it wasnt my stepdad it was a boyfriend or even my real dad. now im 16 and i cant trust anyone cause im afraid they will hurt me like everyone else i let close to me did. i am scared that i will never...
288 I am what I thought "On Fire for...
I am what I thought "On Fire for the Lord". My husband is not the church type and he feels if he lives a life that is pleasing to God- he is acting like an old man and he still wants to have fun. Anyway, we have a lot of issues with our marriage literally fist fighting in front of our kids, cursing,...
289 I was sexually abused by my older...
I was sexually abused by my older brother who is 6 years older than me. First time when I was around 7. I wanted to play with one of his toy trucks and he said that he would let me if he could lay on top of me and kiss me. I let him but when he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth i pushed him off....
290 My sister-in-law is the most hurtful...
My sister-in-law is the most hurtful person I know. The hate I feel towards her for the years of abuse overwhelms me. She is a sick, evil women. I often think of divorcing my husband so I would never have to see her again.
291 When I was about 9, I was being...
When I was about 9, I was being sexually abused by the son of a family friend. When I told my mom about it, I don't remember her doing anything. I know that I stopped playing there after that, but I don't remember it ever being addressed again. I got that impression that it (I) wasn't worth getting upset...
292 As a child I was sexually abused...
As a child I was sexually abused by a cousin and step sisters. By the end of 4th Grade I had been taught mostly everything there is to know... The humilation came later by my stepsisters... i was made to do things, to a family member and then to their own friends while they watched, then made to take...
293 I was sexually abused several times...
I was sexually abused several times as a child by my moms 12 year old brother when I was 5 or 6. My Grandmother was home when it happened. How could she not know?? After that happened, I always felt sex was bad and dirty. To make my problems worse, I had a mean Step-Father from the age of 1 1/2 until...
294 I knew he was married when I first...
I knew he was married when I first saw him, but I was swept away -- animal magnatism? lust? who can say? And amazingly he seemed to feel the same way. We were careful, doing a slow dance. I didn't want to do this, to screw up my life; he was older and loved his child; I coulnd't bear to hurt her or even...
295 I was molested as a small child,...
I was molested as a small child, I'm not even sure how old I was. Years later when it all came out, my mom told me that the same thing happened to her when she was a little girl. Now I'm terrified that if I ever get married and have a daughter the same thing will happen to her, like the women in my family...
296 I am married and my husband can...
I am married and my husband can not have sexual relations due to health, I am only 38 and at times it is very difficult. My confession is that I have lustfull thoughts of other women and being intimate with them. I hate that I have these thoughts, I love my husband with all my heart. I don't understand...
297 When I was little my half-brother...
When I was little my half-brother would molest me. I have these horrible memories of it that I've tried so hard to forget, but I can't. I was extremely suicidal for years because I hurt so much and I knew I couldn't tell anyone. But finally I spoke to a counselor at my university. It helped to get it...
298 i got the tri-abuse policy when...
i got the tri-abuse policy when i was younger. sexual mental and phusical abuse and it affects my life still today mentally and emotionally. i dealt with it, but it still has a small grasp on my life and i hate my family for it. i was the youngest of the 3, where were they when i needed them.
299 i drink every single day and no...
i drink every single day and no one even knows or if they do they dont care but i act normal enough and i dont mistreat anyone.....i drink so i dont have to feel anything... i dont want to feel cause i cant deal with whats going on in my life.
300 People say a child is innocent...
People say a child is innocent but as a child I was introduced to sex at a very young age by other children and made a terrible mistake. I didn't attend church until I was nearly 11 so how I knew the things is a mystery to me. I use to dream on many occasions that my bed would fall out beneath me and...
301 I'm a teenager, and I have been...
I'm a teenager, and I have been molested since the age of 7 by my cousin. I never knew about abuse or incest and I never knew that what he was doing to me was wrong. I am still being molested to this day. I think I have lost my faith in God. I still go to church every Sunday, but it doesn't help at all....
302 I sm 27 years of age and have been...
I sm 27 years of age and have been married for 10 years now.For so long, I have been carrying a big load over my shoulders. At times like now, I look back at my life and wish my past were different. To start, at the age of 17 I was having an affair with a man who was my co-worker. I soon turned 18, and...
303 I am always sad and depressed,...
I am always sad and depressed, always thinking suicidal thoughts. I have two wonderful, beautiful children and I love them very much, but I don't think I'm a good enough mother to them because I yell at them a lot. I love their father, but am not in love with him. I pretend for the children and it makes...
304 When I was 5, I was sent to an...
When I was 5, I was sent to an orphanage. It was very nice there. After a while a catholic priest began molesting me and a few other boys. This went on for about a couple of years. I have forgiven the priest but have a hard time forgiving myself. I am now grown and married and very active in my church,...
305 I smoked marijuana for the first...
I smoked marijuana for the first time last night.
306 My cousin and my youngest brother...
My cousin and my youngest brother touched me when I was little. My cousin has a daughter, I wonder sometimes if he has bothered her. I feel guilty that noone knows. I was 7 or 8.
307 I feel that had I not been molested...
I feel that had I not been molested by my 14 year old brother starting when I was 4 that I would not hurt myself like I do.I take a scalpel or any other sharp object nail clippers treezers and clip my toenails and pull them out. The pain and blood and infection is a way to cope for me. I know people...
308 When I was 4 my 14 year old brother...
When I was 4 my 14 year old brother began having adult sex with me he did this until he left for the Army. To this day we pretend nothing happend. My mom knows now it happened but talks about him with me and I guess I am supposed to pretend that we are normal.I still do not know how my family and doctor...
309 I was raped at the age of twelve...
I was raped at the age of twelve by my best friend. He raped and repeatedly beat me. I didn't tell because I was afraid for my life.At the same time, my stepfather was abusing me emotionally, making me feel worthless. So worthless that I tried to kill myself and stabbed him. They wrapped his and my wounds...
310 I was inappropriately touched by...
I was inappropriately touched by two neighbor kids when I was young. Nobody knows about it and I can not find the words to say it out loud. One of the "kids" is married with two children and a successful business. The other has "fallen through the cracks of society." As for myself, I think this has caused...
311 I was molested by my step-brother...
I was molested by my step-brother until I was 12 years old. Nobody knows and it makes me sick everytime I see him.
312 I left home at fourteen and went...
I left home at fourteen and went to florida. I slept with so many men that I cannot even remember their names. I didn't really know any better since I was sexually abused, which is why I left home. My adopted father touched me several times and once almost raped me. Due to all of my promiscuity, I became...
313 It started out as abuse from my...
It started out as abuse from my oldest brother. Then wenton to include my other brothers. My whole life I have felt that I was unworthy of love or caring. Then as I grew up it went on further with men who were friends. It was as if I had a sign on my forehead that said abuse me. Then came my husband...
314 I regret not turning in the man...
I regret not turning in the man who abused me sexually. Now he may have done it to others.
315 I was sexually abused my friends...and...
I was sexually abused my friends...and raped by random men. Sometimes, I think being a prostitute wouldn't be so different from my life.
316 I regret so much in my life that...
I regret so much in my life that has lead me to who I am today. I can't begin to list all of the horrible things that has happened to me and done to me. I am now a woman full of regret and disdain for people. I hate no one more than I do myself. i am completely worthless. I have tried to overcome all...
317 I was sexually abused for many...
I was sexually abused for many years by my brother. Not only did he abuse me but he allowed his friends to do the same. That went on from the time I was 9 - 13 yrs. old. I have always blamed myself for waht went on but I now realize that I had no control over his actions and the actions of his friends.But...
318 When I was 7 yrs old my older brother...
When I was 7 yrs old my older brother molested me. My family didn't believe me.When I was 12 yrs old an uncle and a neighbor both molested me. I couldn't tell anyone. This went on for two years. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I still cry when I think about those men and and what they did to...
319 I have been with my boyfriend for...
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and I am terrified of him and don't know who to tell. I am pregnant and everyday there is him with his constant threats and abuse. His favorite thing is to choke me til I nearly pass out I am scared for my unborn daughter who will have to live...
320 I grew up in a house that was on...
I grew up in a house that was on the "good" side of town. My parents were both professionals. I never wanted for anything. But there was such an ugly side of our existence. The abuse and the fighting was horrendous. I am scarred because of the things that happened in that home. My brother and sister...
321 my dad used to get bottles of hydrocodones,...
my dad used to get bottles of hydrocodones, which i would steal and abuse. when my finger was broken, i was prescribed my own, which i abused. i used to also get it from friends. i did become addicted. i would go through withdrawls when i'd be without it. i would tear apart the house looking for just...
322 i have so many secrets that fall...
i have so many secrets that fall into so many categories. i'm starting with abuse.when i was three or four years old, i was sexually abused by a stranger. no penetration. just touching.when i was seven i was abused by a friend who was nine. others do not consider this abuse because of the age involved,...
323 I'm struggling with homosexuality...
I'm struggling with homosexuality and prescription drug abuse; both are addictions in my life. I am a leader, serving in a very visible role with much influence, working in full time ministry. I feel like I can't tell anyone and no one has even the slightest clue. I want help. I want someone to talk...
324 I have had this secret for close...
I have had this secret for close to 45 years or more. I was abused by my brother when I was little till in my early teens. I have never ever told a living sole this. I feel that I have lived a lie all my life. Please pray for me.
325 I was sexually abused from age...
I was sexually abused from age 6 until 13 by my stepfather. I told 3 times over a period of 2 years before I was finally removed from the home. My mother did not believe me and is still married to the same man that abused me. It has been 15 years since he last touched me. I can still feel his hands and...
326 I was sexually molested by my brother...
I was sexually molested by my brother for a summer when I was 7. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was also sexually molested when I was 10 by my best friends much older brother. I ran home and never told anyone.I was later sexually abused by my mothers old firend that came to stay with us on his...
327 I am surprised and somewhat relieved...
I am surprised and somewhat relieved that I am not the only woman in this category. I have been masturbating since I was 8 years old, since I was sexually abused as a child. I was sexually involved (not really intercourse, though) when I was 13 and 14, and full-blown sexually involved with guys throughout...
328 I was in my mid 30's and sexually...
I was in my mid 30's and sexually touched a young (13) girls breasts. I did no time but did 15 yrs probation. It was all due to alcohol and drug abuse. Ive been clean and sober almost 16 yrs now by the grace of God. There are some people out there that can be helped if they wish for this help! I am a...
329 I use food to make me feel good,...
I use food to make me feel good, then I lie about how much food I eat. I was starved as an child, emotionally and nutritionally as well. the only attention I got was when some man was trying to get sexual with me. So I learned to eat to feel better. Then as an adult I was raped and every man I picked...
330 I was sexually abused by an uncle...
I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was little. It's my first memory.
331 Okay I left school because of alcohol...
Okay I left school because of alcohol abuse. I act like Im really strong but deep inside I feel like it was a mistake to go back. Some boys spread a rumor about me having sex with this boy. I feel humiliated, it's been two years and people cant forget and and added a horriblly embarassing thing to the...
332 when i was younger maybe around...
when i was younger maybe around 11 years old i remember that my parents use to hit me & my brothers for every little thing, & once i remember my dad took my brother's head & started banging it against the wall i was so scared, my mom told him to calm down but usually she would tempt him to...
333 I love the Lord and have been saved...
I love the Lord and have been saved since early childhood. When I was 26, I dated my one and only boyfriend, who was gorgeous and in medical school.I willingly had a sexual relationship with him. However one day he savagely beat me, ferociously raped me for absolutely no reason at all. My head injuries...
334 I find it impossible to open up...
I find it impossible to open up to anyone, even close family members. I never let anyone touch me, hug me, or come to close to me except for extremely rare occasions. All my friends know this, and we joke about it but I sometimes wonder if any of them think there may be a deeper reason for it. A few...
335 no one knows that the reason i...
no one knows that the reason i tried to kill myself at 11 was because i was being sexually abused. i'm now 14 and i think about killing myself every day. how does life turn out so bad when it hasn't even begun?
336 I use prescription drugs. I have...
I use prescription drugs. I have for years. I run a sober living and am not living sober/
337 i do drugs
i do drugs
338 Everyone thinks I'm still clean...
Everyone thinks I'm still clean from heroin, but I haven't been since March. I hate being held captive by this drug. It makes me severely physically dependent upon it and screws up every area of my life. I hate heroin and the destruction it cayses, but I love getting high. I am so ashamed.
339 well you'v always heard it said"like...
well you'v always heard it said"like father like son" I was married 23yrs and my husband hated his father for treating his mom bad(verbal abuse,leaving for weeks at a time,lazy,mean, just hateful) and just guess who walked in his dad footsteps,yep you got it "my husband" I thought if I hung in there...
340 My grandfather molested me when...
My grandfather molested me when I was six. My neighbor molested me when I was 8 or 9, he was 14. My uncle french kissed me when I was 10 years old.
341 Around the time when I was only...
Around the time when I was only a year old, my parents divorced. My dad kept me in with loving arms and cared for me every single day. My mom on the other hand, left us stranded and hurt.Now fast forward to about 6 years later. My dad had been recently married to a wonderful woman that would soon adopt...
342 My Grandfather abused me as a child....
My Grandfather abused me as a child. Now, as a man I have never told anyone. EVER! I have started having feelings for my best friend. I know it is because of my Grandfather. When he died, I wasn't even sad. I was happy. Why is that? Now I have these feelings and they won't go away. I blame...
343 It has been two and a half years...
It has been two and a half years ago I since I used crack cocoaine. The drug addiction took me to some dark places that I never want to visit again or even darker places that I never wish to go. The problem is everyday I think about using the drug again. I don't want to use it or even think about using....
344 I was 5 when it started. My parents...
I was 5 when it started. My parents thought they were leaving my brother and me with a trustworthy babysitter. She was, after all, a popular high school cheerleader. She was 16. She played the part until my parents were gone and that's when the threats and physical torture began. She put me in a chair...
345 My step father molested me as a...
My step father molested me as a child. I was just 14, a middle school boy. I trusted him and always believed he had my best interests at heart - I realize now he just had is own interests. It went on for 3 years, mom never new, I finally had to break it off. It's caused me to distance myself from...
346 I was molested by my half-brother...
I was molested by my half-brother when i was 6 years old - he was 17. i never told anyone. Now i am looked down upon in my small family of sexually exploited women because i dont understand what it is like to be abused...
347 This weekend is the fifth anniversary...
This weekend is the fifth anniversary of my failed marriage. I have been clean and sober for two years. My husband and I have been living apart for two years. This summer, I finally gave up hope that he would ever change into a mature, responsible man. He's been trying to spend more time with me of late...
348 I carry past humiliation of my...
I carry past humiliation of my husband's(at the time) domestic violence. My ribs broken, major abdominal muscles badly torn, and now found out a cracked hip from the past abuse.The problem is I condoned the abuse-that is, I wouldn't leave my husband, and often would beg him to come home when he left(which...
349 When I was 12 I was sexually molested...
When I was 12 I was sexually molested by family member, I am married now but I can't shake what happened to me, and that he is out there and nothing ever happened to me him, Why me?
350 I realized that if I quit drinking...
I realized that if I quit drinking that it would help me lose weight for crew (rowing). I tried to quit and realized that I couldn't. I don't allow drinking to affect my everyday life, but I'm tied to it. I know it's not a physical dependance, it's psychologial. I think I have a ddictive personality,...
351 okay, here I am at the last moment...
okay, here I am at the last moment as usual. I have confessed my sins to God a million times over, but have never confessed to God's people so that they may pray for me and I can acutally lift my burdens. I am scared to death right now but I know this is the step that God is putting on my heart to follow...
352 When I was 3 I was sexually molested...
When I was 3 I was sexually molested by my 15 yr old babysitter I told my parents because I thought it was a game and I told them about the new game I learned. They did nothing.When I was 6 yrs old I was kidnapped and held in the man's home for 2 days being forced to do sexual acts my parents never reported...
353 I was 5 years old when my Uncle...
I was 5 years old when my Uncle commited suicide. He is my Mom's youngest brother.. But ever since his death My mother has abused me. I know that the bible says to Love thy parents. But I cannot love my mom. I find it hard to have respect or love for someone who abused me and to this day still abuses...
354 AS A CHILD, I DON'T REMEMBER...
AS A CHILD, I DON'T REMEMBER MY MOTHER EVER SHOWING ME LOVE, ONLY IGNORING ME. AS I GREW OLDER, SHE REMAINED THE SAME, ONLY ACTED LIKE SHE HATED ME. I'M NOT BRAGGING, BUT I REALLY WAS A GOOD KID. NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE, ONLY WANTED LOVE. MY OLDER BROTHER STARTED SEXALLY ABUSING ME WHEN I WAS 6 YRS....
355 My husband sexually assulted me...
My husband sexually assulted me when he was drunk one night. I was not feeling well and declined his offer to have sex. He put a porno in and started watching it. When I refused again he assulted me. It is still so painful to this day I cannot tell it all. Something else I am ashamed of.....I am not...
356 i manipulate womens emotions. i...
i manipulate womens emotions. i always have. i hate what i've become because of it. i dont want to use people anymore. instead i want to love them purely.
357 I was abused as a child by two...
I was abused as a child by two very close family members. Only a few know this. The worst part is I have to deal with these two on a near daily basis in my life and sometimes I just want to blurt it out to everyone around us what they did to me!!
358 God please help me, I am 17 have...
God please help me, I am 17 have a daughter and have a husband who verbally abuses me, compares me to his ex girlfriend and screams at our 2 month old baby. Please god help me and my new family, and forgive me if i have done anything wrong
359 I do not remember it clearly, but...
I do not remember it clearly, but I was abused sexually when I was a little girl. It comes back to me in flashbacks and I know in my heart that it's true. I am addicted to porn, to masturbation, and I want to become a stripper or prostitute when I turn 18. I'm afraid of what is going to happen to me...
360 As a young girl, I was sexually...
As a young girl, I was sexually assualted. Now everytime a boy moves his arm in my direction, I flinch. Because of what happened, I'm afraid of intimacy. I wish I wasn't, I'm afraid to be alone.
361 Well I always had a great childhood...
Well I always had a great childhood no bad memories there. When I turned 17 I moved in with my boy friend. I stayed in his sisters room so that I could watch his brother and sister at night while he and his mom worked. I was a vigin when I moved in with him. I had never even kissed a guy. Well after...
362 I am too self conscious about my...
I am too self conscious about my image and weight because of teasing and abuse I suffered as an overweight child. God is great, because he's teaching me not to worry so much.
363 well I guess this could be under...
well I guess this could be under abuse too. But I was twelve i was raped by my cousin who was a few years older than me, this spun into a deep depression which led me to Bulimia. I am obessed.. and now that I am 23 I still think about throwing up and do it often. I love it and i cant get over it at all......
364 When I was younger a family member...
When I was younger a family member raped me, I didn't understand what was going on then until I got older... I didn't know that anything was wrong with. Before that actually happened the same person would try to get me to touch them in inapproiate ways while others watched. A few years later I found...
365 My confession falls under several...
My confession falls under several of the catagories. So here goes, When I was 12 My stepfather, for the first time, touched me in places that he touched my mom, and It felt good to me at the time. But it didn't at the same time cause I knew it was wrong. Wrong of him for doing it, and wrong of me for...
366 When I was four I was molested...
When I was four I was molested by my babysitter. I forgot about it, but later in life I remebered it and ever since I've been trying to forget.
367 A life is what we have till someone...
A life is what we have till someone takes it away from us. Mine was taken away at the age of 4. It is very hard to fully understand after 26 years but this is what happened. My mother and father divorced and my mother started shaking up with so other guy. He started with me cause I was the oldest and...
368 When I was younger my grandfather...
When I was younger my grandfather would touch me in places that he had no right to. He would tickle me then start touching me. He did this for a while before I was old enough to realize that it wasn't normal and started calling out for help. It stopped but no one was ever told. I did try to tell my mother...
369 I regret ever marrying my ex-husband....
I regret ever marrying my ex-husband. He abused my son so badly that as an adult he is still dealing with his past hurts. I regret it took so long for me to leave him. I regret ever meeting him.
370 There's so much to confess i dont...
There's so much to confess i dont know where to began. I guesss I'm going to take you way back to the very pure age of 7. Life was sweet as honey. I didn't have any complaints. I was going to church everyday, and i even was gifted with a voice to sing. But then one night. I had a bad dream. A dreamm...
371 I am a 31 year old female who was...
I am a 31 year old female who was abused by my Grandfather as a child from as early as I can remember to about age 7. Like so many of the other people that have posted messages on this site I have felt guilt and shame. I have blamed myself and my family,since he started by abusing his daughters. I have...
372 As far back as i can recall I had...
As far back as i can recall I had been sexualy abused by my stepbrother. I can recall it happening before my 4th birthday and happened untill I was about 13. He was about 5 years older then me. I now suspect it was happening to him by his bio.Father. We shared a room and sometimes a bed when I would...
373 When i was in my 20's and i had...
When i was in my 20's and i had several affairs with married men. I had so much hurt and anger inside i wanted to make everyone hurt the way i did. I saw what i wanted and just took without any regard for but myself. I am not talking one or twice that i hooked up with married men. SIX TIMES! I have never...
374 Back in the 70's I started doing...
Back in the 70's I started doing drugs,it carried on into the 80's.1988 I lost my boyfriend due to drugs and alcohol so I tried to change my ways and stop the drugs and also drinking. I married in 1989 and had my first child in 1991.I have had two more children and all three have autism. I cannot...
375 I grew up in a very abusive home...
I grew up in a very abusive home - verbally and physically. Both my olders sister's got pregnant very young on purpose to get out of the house. I was left alone. No-one to talk to. My Mom and Dad fought all the time, then after he would leave to meet his girlfriend she would take all of her rage on me.She...
376 I can honestly say I have no idea...
I can honestly say I have no idea as to when I lost my virginity. Maybe when I was 2 or maybe I just never had it. All I know is that what I can remember is having sex with my cousins for years and it didn't stop until I was about 18. I am so ashamed of myself because I just couldn't stop. What makes...
377 It is difficult for me to choose...
It is difficult for me to choose a category, as so many of them apply to me. I am addicted to food. I often think that it would be nice to be bulemic or anorexic, but I am too weak-willed to pull it off. I despise men who are weak and seek out pornography, and yet, out of curiosity, I look...
378 When I was a young child, I was...
When I was a young child, I was sexually abused by one of my adoptive parents' military aquaintances. I never went to my parents because we never had the kind of relationship where I felt that I could trust them to do anything about it. ( we children were " seen " and not " heard " was my parents philosophy...
379 I was sexually and physically abused...
I was sexually and physically abused as a child. I think the afteraffects have ruined my marriage. I regret never telling anyone my problems before it was too late.
380 When I was a child my brother sexually...
When I was a child my brother sexually abused me for many years. I have only told one person in my life and she didn't believe me. I still have a hatred of him and my family for not acknowledging that it happened (how could they not know??) and now I fear for his daughter.. will he do it to her? Thaks...
381 I have been married twice, the...
I have been married twice, the first ended in divorce. My first husband left because I cheated on him and became pregnant with another mans child. My second husband and I have had a rocky relationship from the beginning and things got progressively worse from there. To make a long story short he had...
382 My father abused my mother for...
My father abused my mother for 22 years and as soon as all four of her children turned three he started abusing us. I have scars everywhere on my body from things he did and every time I look at them it disgusts me because I want to be beautiful so that I can prove him wrong when he always told me that...
383 I was touched sexually by a girl...
I was touched sexually by a girl in my neighborhood when I was around 6 years old. I am now 27 and married to a man but I think the experience has messed with my mind. I love my husband very much but I sometimes have fantasies about being with a woman. I don't know if this means I am bisexual or curious...
384 I was gang raped in a very religous...
I was gang raped in a very religous area out West. An area that would ask what I did wrong to be abused! I didn't want this to happen to me. I want to love a man, to get married; but I don't trust them. A few years after the rape I convinced my doctor to do a hystoectmony on me; telling him I was never...
385 I've been a Christian since age...
I've been a Christian since age 16. Raised in a Christian home.Married 24 years..5 kids.In 1997 my whole world came apart. At the time my then-husband and I were small group leaders at a Vineyard church. Our daughter ran away from home. Turns out she was on drugs majorly and been sexually abused by her...
386 I was molested by my uncle. I was...
I was molested by my uncle. I was only 4years old now im 25 years old and i can remember it like it was yesterday. It was not painful he used to say lets play a game i would be on the bed and he would say im going to fall on you, he had sex with me a number of times. I never really told any one, I use...
387 Before I became a christian I abused...
Before I became a christian I abused my step daughter sexually when she was 4.She was killed in an a crash and I feel terrible about what I did to her.I was addicted to pornography and was often alone with her.I am afraid she may not have been saved.
388 I was sexually abused by my father...
I was sexually abused by my father at 8, who was a baptist minister. The shame drove me try to kill myself. When the pills did not work, I felt the shame. I started to hate church & everything it stood for. Looking at my father in front of the pulpit made me vomit! To protect my mother I told noone.After...
389 I abused a few kids when i was...
I abused a few kids when i was young and often fantasize about it.I "think" i was abused myself but I cannot remember.I am extremely "hurt" inside by something i cannot pinpoint and have hit my girlfriends and drink all the time.I have stopped drinking drastically for the past 7 days and now have a "new"...
390 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child when i was 4 years old. It is my absolute 1st vivid memory of myself as a child. i had no childhood because of it, and most of my adult life has been affected in one way or another. This person was a friend of my father's. They were in the Army together in Fort Knox,...
391 This confession could be in many...
This confession could be in many of the categories... self harm, abuse, lust, hurt, regret, and shame. So many. In my early 20s I was a serial monogamist. Meaning I would go from one girl to another girl in quick succession. During this time I was responsible for 5 abortions with 4 different women. I...
392 When I was 3 years old my stepgrandfather...
When I was 3 years old my stepgrandfather raped me at his home, my grandmother was in the house and afterwards found out.She choose to coverup what her husband had done, probably due to the shame and the times. It was the late fifties and no one ever talked about child abuse back then. She cleaned me...
393 I did make up a few things that...
I did make up a few things that this man did to me for many years of my life, sexually abusing me, I did this for in fact he molested many others that I know, that did not want to come forward, I feel bad for doing this,but it needed to be done.
394 This past week, i abused alcohol.Each...
This past week, i abused alcohol.Each night I went out, 7 nights in a ten day period. I had so much, that I acted stupid, did things i wouldnt normally do, i had sex with a guy in the restroom and I offended my friends.
395 i was abused by some one in my...
i was abused by some one in my day care when i was little. then when i was 14 i was raped by some one i worked with and again when i was 18. i blame those people for turning me the way i am for my hatred towards men and my promiscuity. im 23 and have been with over 300 men at least 10 women and cant...
396 My parents got divorced when I...
My parents got divorced when I was 13.. My mom went psycho on me, abused me, and such. I thought it was normal! I thoguht everything was ok. She told me she loved me, she told me i was everything. Once i cried so hard, cause she wanted to kill herself, that she said she was going to shoot me if i didnt...
397 Growing up, everyone thought that...
Growing up, everyone thought that we had the "PERFECT FAMILY". My parents seemed to be loving and generous. We went to parks, zoos, amusement parks, the circus, the movies, etc. But, behind closed doors, my parents abused me physically, mentally, emotionally and even sexually (only once but, that was...
398 I was molested by my uncle for...
I was molested by my uncle for years when I was a child. I told my family about it and they acted as if I was the one that was wrong. Then they tried to act like it never happened. It only made matters worse and I ended up abusing my younger siblings by exposing them to pornography, and being inappropiate...
399 I was sexually abused by a neighbor...
I was sexually abused by a neighbor for 2 years. I was 8 when i met him, he brought me to his apartment so i could play with his dog. he took me out to theme parks and dinners and pool parties and bought me anything i wanted. for two years. i didnt even know there was anything wrong with it. my mom was...
400 When I was 16, I met a man who...
When I was 16, I met a man who was 26. I wasn't supposed to see him, but I did. My mother never knew. He brainwashed me and sexually absued me, then dumped me off because he decided I wasn't "young" enough - he decided he didn't like that, at sixteen, I had pubic hair, large breasts, and the fact that...
401 Actually, in my lifetime, I have...
Actually, in my lifetime, I have done ALL or MOST of the above. Some, I am still doing to this day.I am a SINNER...The biggest SINNER on earth. I have HAD addictions (tobacco and alcohol), a double life, an eating disorder, gambling (bingo), pronography (watching) adultery, hurt, lying, stealing, relationships,...
402 I used to cut on myself, it started...
I used to cut on myself, it started after I became sober at an adult age. All those years of drinking and abusing drugs I was hiding behind some horrible sexual abuse from an friend of the family. My mother was an alcoholic and emotionally and physically abused me. My dad was never around to witness...
403 I am 18. For most of my life I...
I am 18. For most of my life I have been emotionally abused. Mostly by my siblings. Most of the time if my parents would ask them why they were doing it they would say "because its fun" It has made me feel horrible about myself. Like I am worth nothing and that no one will appreciate me because not even...
404 Life is occasional islands of joy,...
Life is occasional islands of joy, and sometimes transcendent beauty, floating in an ocean of pain. Some are so small that you can only see them in passing, and others are large enough to visit, but none are capable of sustaining life.I am 51, and have contemplated suicide, on a daily basis, since the...
405 I chose abuse because I was...
I chose abuse because I was abused..'sexually, physically, verbally,and emtionally, first by Uncle, my stepfather, and my spouse". In pain I have retaliated abuse upon others in many ways and forms, and I have abused myself with first alcohol, drugs, and now food and prescription drugs.My adopted...
406 I was abused several years ago...
I was abused several years ago by my boss who was also a friend of my parents. I felt that if I told them they would never believe me because of their friendship. Now several years later and married, it still effects me. I have trouble when my husband is touching me. I try not to think about my abuser...
407 I am not sure how it all started...
I am not sure how it all started but it goes a little like this. When i was a little man i was abused. I lived in a big family so i had a lot of fimly around my age. And what he did to me i in turn did with to the people around the same age(7-14)as me. But now i am sorry when i look back and see how...
408 When I was 16 years old my brother...
When I was 16 years old my brother in law took advantage of me on my birthday, he kissed me in an inappropriate way. I have kept this a secret for several years, my sister doesn't know to this day, it changed my entire life, I was active in church as a teen , I didn't know how to handle the situation,...
409 when I was 6 years old, one of...
when I was 6 years old, one of the neighbor kid abuse me. that year two old grow men did the same things. After that I wasn’t normal kid. I become self-consion about every little things. I become regrets every thing I do. now I am 21 years old, every thing in my life is wrong. whenever things in my...
410 Growing up I was verbally abused...
Growing up I was verbally abused by my mother. It was confusing though, because she would tell me the worst things and then turn around and be sickeningly sweet and deny that she said anything wrong, especially in front of my friends. No one ever understood growing up why I didn't like my mother, and...
411 I was molested as a young girl...
I was molested as a young girl by my female babysitter--I am sure she was also being abused. For my whole life I have wondered if I am gay. When I was in fourth grade, my friends and I would make out with each other (all girls) and I liked it. I made my little cousin kiss me that way too...we were mostly...
412 I was raped when I was 18 and I...
I was raped when I was 18 and I secretly wish the man who did it would die. I cannot stand him and I cannot stand the people who judge me for what happened. People say the most insensitive things...acting as though I should have fought him off and that would have changed something. It would have changed...
413 I was raped by 12 men in one night...
I was raped by 12 men in one night
414 I turn to alcohol and drugs to...
I turn to alcohol and drugs to make myself feel good about my life
415 I was abused as a child. I was...
I was abused as a child. I was raped by a cop. He tried to kill me. But when my parents found out. They said it was my fault. I have had addictions. for 4 years I was a coke heroin meth junkie. I shot up . I was homeless. I wanted some one to like me. I became a prostitute. I am now 2 years clean. But...
416 When I was a 4 one of my older...
When I was a 4 one of my older brothers would touch me and try to have intercourse with me I was so young I didn't know what was wrong and right all I knew was that it felt weird and would keep asking him if we could stop, but he continued to do it until about 4 years later, when I was eight. It wasn't,...
417 When I was eight years old, I was...
When I was eight years old, I was molested by a doctor. He held me down, fondled me, and finally fingered me. No one heard my screams that day. Now, almost twelve years later, I cannot stand to be alone in the doctor's office out of fear that the same thing will happen.
418 I've taken a sick amount of medication...
I've taken a sick amount of medication from Green Tea Pills to Speed to lose weight while I starve myself. Last year, I spent somewhere in the vicinity of $250 on Aderall, and we don't have very much money. If my parents ever found out, I don't know if I could live with the guilt of the pain it would...
419 I was with this mean man who used...
I was with this mean man who used to beat me up every day. I ended up having 3 children with him.. Well, after we had been together for about 5 years. I found out he was smoking crack cocaine. I confronted him about it, knowing what my fate was for disobeying him. Instead of him beating me. He made me...
420 I am 20 years old and I was sexually...
I am 20 years old and I was sexually abused by my father for 11 years. He made me feel like what he was doing was my fault. I tried to tell my mother several times but she never believed me. Years later, I tried to commit suicide over it and my father still says it isn't his fault that anything happend....
421 For the past 8 years my life has...
For the past 8 years my life has been a train wreck. From the time that I was 9 my father had started to physically abuse me. This was after my parents seperated. I went into manic depression and became bipolar before I was 10. When I was 12 I got raped by four men all at the same time. My cousin set...
422 I was sexually abused by my alcoholic...
I was sexually abused by my alcoholic father and my brother for many years. My mother could not deal with this, and so emotionally and physically abused me as well, at 29 years old, i have never heard the words i love you from my mother. It tears me apart. I turned to eating as a child, gained over 100...
423 As a young child, I was molested...
As a young child, I was molested by a cousin 10 years older than me. I have to face him at every family function and holiday knowing what he did to me.
424 i was molested as a child by my...
i was molested as a child by my father and never told anyone
425 I believe I was sexually abused...
I believe I was sexually abused more then once in my childhood by both males and females. I don't remember the exact situations or the people, but i have blocked out most of my childhood. The abuse happened before the age of 12. I remember being way to sexual my whole life with very confusing sexual...
426 I was sexually abused by my stepfather...
I was sexually abused by my stepfather when I was 3 years old. I thought it was all my fault for years. I was again molested by his brother, a church bus driver and an uncle. All of this before the age of 6. Of course I don't trust men, I don't have any self worth and feel abandoned and betrayed....
427 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child by my father from when I was 5 until I left and moved in with my grandparents at 14. My grandfather then continued to abuse me until I ran away at 17. They raped me and broke me until I tried to kill myself over and over agin. My mother knew of it all and was even present...
428 i dont know when i became addicted......
i dont know when i became addicted... i was sexually abused at a young age and have always had a skewed view of sex. always fantasized about it with many different men who have been in and out of my life. whether they were friends or authority figures or who ever. it didnt matter. i had sex before...
429 I was sexually abuse when I was...
I was sexually abuse when I was a little kid by my neighbor. I still remember his face and the things he did to me. I saw him again last year but never say a word to him. My family is nice to him because they I never told them what he did to me. Sometimes I hope he dies painfully.
430 I was sexually abused in my childhood...
I was sexually abused in my childhood by an older sibling.Thankfully there is a large age difference so I didnt have to deal with this after about age 9 or 10, I never spoke of it. I was so embarassed and dirty. Until here recently after fifteen or so years of no contact, this person and "HIS" family...
431 When I was 15 I started hurting...
When I was 15 I started hurting myself. I was hospilized a couple times for being suicidal and put on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. A couple of months ago I stopped them. I've started remembering things about my childhood. (sexual and emotional abuse) I'm not sure I should believe it or not....
432 I just want to tell somebody. I'm...
I just want to tell somebody. I'm not christian but I want to get this off my chest. My father emotianlly abuses me. He used to send me into a deep depresion, but soon sadness turned into anger and I sometimes have murderous feelings toward him. We don't live together anymore, so I guess thats good....
433 Where to begin? I'm shocked that...
Where to begin? I'm shocked that I'm even doing this since I can't even talk about it out loud to my family, yet I can post it for the world to see on the Internet. My father sexually abused my sister and I when we were younger. God this is the first time I've even typed it (or said it out loud). Memories...
434 When I was about 3 years old, I...
When I was about 3 years old, I was sexually molested by a man with whom my mother was having an extra marital affair. I was a very depressed child all the way through my teens and when I was about 10 or 11 I began sexually abusing my little brother. I am 26 now and I am very proud of who I have become...
435 sometimes i want to get high on...
sometimes i want to get high on pain killers and all kinds of relaxing pills... this crave has been growing day by day
436 At age eleven, I was repeatedly...
At age eleven, I was repeatedly subjected to sexual abuse by an 18 year old babysitter.Other guys I have known throughout my life have confided similar experiences. Like me, they, are ashamed to openly admit it happened. It is not "macho" to admit that one is ashamed of being victimized by an older female....
437 My secret is when I was 15 years...
My secret is when I was 15 years old I started smoking pot, just recreationally. I started doing very bad in high school. I ended up dropping out at 16, I did get my G.E.D. At the end of the summer of 2005 I met up with a girl I had known from high school, and started snorting cocaine. For about a month...
438 I'm a guy that was sexually abused...
I'm a guy that was sexually abused when i was about 8 years old till i was 12 by this older man that use to live with us. I never told my dad or any of my relatives. I was scared. I didn't really know what was going on. It happened to several of my other guy and girl cousins, as well. We never said anything....
439 My brother beats up my older sister...
My brother beats up my older sister both physically and emotionally.
440 My father's son from a previous...
My father's son from a previous relationship moved in with myself, my brother, and my parents when I was 10 years old. When he first came to the house I got a really bad vibe from him. I just didn't like or trust him for some reason, but because he was family I eventually started to warm up to him. He...
441 SEPTEMBER 5TH, 1974. On September...
SEPTEMBER 5TH, 1974. On September 5th i will be 32 yeras old with 32 yesrs of secrets.Most all of the catorgoieries my life will fit into one of them all.Growing up my mother was an alcholichic so we were taken away from here.I went to live with my cousins and shared a room by the time I was 3...
442 I was raped in high school when...
I was raped in high school when I was 16. That is the first time I have ever said or typed those words. I blamed myself for it for the past 5 years because I didn't think it was rape. I thought I must have wanted it if it happened. I thought that something must be wrong with me and that it was better...
443 As a kid I had gotten cought smoking...
As a kid I had gotten cought smoking marijuana. I had promised many people that I had quit. Although I said I had quit I continued the smoking of pot. I had also moved to harder drugs such as cocaine and acid, and in a few cases took xanax and c's. I got high on marijuana every day and high on crack...
444 my father often wonders why i do...
my father often wonders why i do not call him 'daddy' anymore. when i was 15 he beat me bad enough that i recieved a minor concussion and badly bruised ribs. i still have the remnence of a lump on my head from where i was punched. he hasn't done it since because i learned to fight to protect myself....
445 When I was younger, I was abused...
When I was younger, I was abused by my babysitter. Around the age of 2 or 3. Then I was abused by a older boy about 15 when I was 6. And again when I was 11 by another older boy at church. These painful experiances have caused me to sort of well not hate but I am pissed of at God. Why would he let a...
446 At the age of 11 , the family doctor...
At the age of 11 , the family doctor molested me while my mother waited in the waitingroom for me, I've never told any one about it.
447 I've been abused all of my life....
I've been abused all of my life. As a kid my dad would tell me how he wished I were never born and how worthless I was.I caught him many times physically abusing my mom. He became an alcoholic, but I had to take care of him because I knew I was better than him. I thought his words don't mean anything,...
448 when I was 13-15 I molested my...
when I was 13-15 I molested my little sister and now I am 22 and I had sex with a little girl 12. I pray that god will help me and forgive me.
449 I have a valium addiction and I...
I have a valium addiction and I can't shake it. I try to reduce the dosage but then I go thru withdrawals. It's horrible. I feel like I am going to blow up or die if I don't get my fix. It is affecting my mood. I can't sleep and I am moody as hell. I am also having financial problems so that doesn't...
450 I'm 16. I was abused by my father...
I'm 16. I was abused by my father everyday until I was 9. He would come home from work he was a construction worker so he would be sun burnt. he would make me go to his room with him and tell everyone i was putting aloe on his back but he never made my brothers "put aloe on his back". i would cry everyday...
451 I love drugs... Im not addicted,...
I love drugs... Im not addicted, i can stop any day. I just choose not to. The way they make me feel... its like i'm in a cartoon world, where nothing matters but having fun. Then come to reality and everything sucks... money, jobs, bills, police. I wish that drugs were legal because for those who don't...
452 ParentingLast night I was verbally...
ParentingLast night I was verbally abusive to my children. I took my anger, frustration and hurt feelings out on them. That was wrong. I made them both cry. I feel terrible about it. I had some wine and when I came home, they were not happy that I had been drinking and driving. That's all I needed...
453 I was diagnosed with cancer at...
I was diagnosed with cancer at 14 which led to abusive relationships, drugs abuse and self inflicted pain. At 20 I blame myself for these poor decisions but everyday I hate my father more and more. He knew i needed serious help and refused to even talk to me because I was sick. I feel very hurt to this...
454 After my divorce I felt completley...
After my divorce I felt completley useless and ashamed because my husband had cheated on me with several different women. I bounced around from man to man for almost a year. I did start seriously daing someone. After dating for about 1 1/2 months he had to leave for a year long deployment to IRAQ. We...
455 I read about this on AOL and decided...
I read about this on AOL and decided it was time for me to confess my sins.For a long time now for about 7 yrs I have been lying to everyone who ask, All of my friends who are doing very well back in my old town. It all started 2 yrs after I graduated High School, I left and moved out of the state. Lived...
456 My dad is hurtful, and physically...
My dad is hurtful, and physically and emotionally abuses me on a regular basis. My parents have also been lying to me and I have no idea where my REAL parents might be. My family also tried to sell me to a human trafficing organization when I was thirteen.My last boyfriend tried to rape me and I got...
457 I was molested when I was 5 years...
I was molested when I was 5 years old. this abuse did not cease until I was age 11. My dad, uncle, cousin, and their friends all participated in it. Since then, I havent told anyone.. I'm ashamed that it happened to me.. but glad it didnt happen to my younger sister.. is that wrong?
458 When I was ten my uncle molested...
When I was ten my uncle molested me. He took off my clothes and fingered me, and afterward forced me to watch porn. I have never told anyone for fear it would ruin my family. Its been eight years, the pain and fear of another man doing that to me agian haunt me.
459 I am a 44 yrs old woman who has...
I am a 44 yrs old woman who has been married for ONLY 3 yrs. My husband is a man who never wants to provide for me and I am handicapp and need meds , food, clothing. He fights with me about giving me money for those things.I hate being married to him and want to leave him in the worst way but his money...
460 i cant stop taking pills and smoking...
i cant stop taking pills and smoking marijuana. I have had so much taken away from me because of drug use but it doesn't matter. I have tried recovery so many times and for some reason I just cant set it down. The minute things start to get rough or stress comes into my life I want to get high.
461 I think i might be bisexual....
I think i might be bisexual. i have a gay older brother and a lesbian older sister. i do not know about the others. i wasn't abused, per say, but my mother was. it was her brother. he raped her when she was 13. he died this february, and i'm terrified he will defy the laws of physics and come back...
462 As a child I was sexualy abused...
As a child I was sexualy abused by a relative, Then years later I orally abused my daughter.I also cheeted on my wife, Let gay guys have sex with me.Did petty stealing. I am widowed and masturbate.
463 i am 40 years old and while i was...
i am 40 years old and while i was working in a bar i started doing cocaine.I have since then quit my job and I am now a full time mom again .but i hated the thought that i was keeping a secret and that i wasn't strong enough to never do it .
464 I was sexually abused by my step...
I was sexually abused by my step father.But thank God, my mother is getting divorced with him and she's in the process of divorcing with him right now. I wish I could tell her, but I just can't.
465 My mom used to physically abuse...
My mom used to physically abuse us three kids when we were in elementary up to 12th grade. One time she had me undress at the risk of being beaten repeatedly if I didn't, and she had me open my legs as I was facing up. Then she called my sister into the bedroom and began belittling me and pointing and...
466 Where do I start? I could say some...
Where do I start? I could say some things about my addiction to porn and alcohol but I guess the main guilt I have is when I cheated on my wife. We were married almost 6 years and she was diagnosed with a life threatening disease 5 years into the marriage. She was already a depressed person but this...
467 I am newly 46 years old. I grew...
I am newly 46 years old. I grew up being sexually abused by my mother's best friends son and my cousin. I still feel to this day that she knew.My mother tried to kill herself several times over my childhood, finally dying when I was 18. My father was an alcoholic who could barely hold a job and my paretns...
468 I really didn't know which category...
I really didn't know which category to place my confession in since I have so many. I guess I'll begin at the beginning. As a child I was sexually molested by two uncles, a cousin and my father. I guess I was the family patsy because I never spoke out against any of them so one after the other they abused...
469 I lust over a best friend of mine...
I lust over a best friend of mine from school. I was emotionally abused since I was 6 for being overweight. I have no self esteem and no self worth at all. He was the only person who told me everyday, besides my parents, how beautiful I was. He would always tell me he loved me, and we would meet at a...
470 I have three boys. The oldest son...
I have three boys. The oldest son lives with his father and step mother and we have a very strained relationship.I remarried a military man after my first divorce and moved all over and ended becoming a stranger to my son. We don't even know each other.We live an hour apart and never see each other.I...
471 I am a wife and mother of 2 and...
I am a wife and mother of 2 and have been smoking weed at night after the kids go to bed for the past 10 years. I call it "mommy's little helper."
472 im 16 years old and im addicted...
im 16 years old and im addicted to cocaine. i steal money and jewelry to pawn from my mom and stepdad. i know its wrong but i cant stop.
473 I am seventeen and a girl, and...
I am seventeen and a girl, and I was sexually abused by my stepmother for four years. I haven't told anyone because I don't think they will believe me.
474 I was raped when i was 16 by a...
I was raped when i was 16 by a good friend and ever sence then i have had sex with a lot of men to try to get the image of hiim out of my mind i no it is wrong im the passed 3 years i have had sex with about 30 men god please help me stop this and deal with what has happend to me i have not gotten any...
475 I was emotionally abused growing...
I was emotionally abused growing up by both my parents. Emotional abuse is so hard to quantify. Your parents call you names. Your parents never forgive what you did even though you were only a kid. Your parents make you feel like you're a burden and you are evil. You know you are miserable, but every...
476 I started hurting myself when I...
I started hurting myself when I was in fifth or sixth grade. Then in seventh grade I started cutting. Im now 21 and it continues to be a problem for me. I have been in and out of hospitals because of it. People just dont understand it. To me its not rocket science. I have pain inside so I cut it to release...
477 I used to shut up meth when I was...
I used to shut up meth when I was pregnant w/my daughter. The only person that knew was the drug dealer and me. She is now almost 3 y.o. and seems normal. I entered a rehab last year w/high hopes of confessing my disgusting sin to someone else. I could never admit what I had done even though other addicts...
478 I cannot remember a time when I...
I cannot remember a time when I was not being molested by my uncle. Some of my earliest memories are of him sneaking into my room in the very early mornings and molesting me. When I was 8 my mother read my diary and found out. Her solution was "Don't tell you father. We just won't go visit your aunt...
479 When I was alittle girl, around...
When I was alittle girl, around 5, a 15 year old boy, began kissing and touching me. He molested me, in short. I don't remember much, because I was too little. But bits and pieces come to me now and then.Then when I was 10 years old, I was molested again, by my female babysitter, and then by her two,...
480 I cheated on my husband. Why did...
I cheated on my husband. Why did I do it?!?! A month into our first and only childs life he was shipped out overseas for ONE YEAR!!! He started to change...or was it me? Nothing but fighting, nothing but put downs! I prayed every night to God to please give me strength, please help me to get thru this,...
481 i am 49 yrs old and only recently...
i am 49 yrs old and only recently after blocking this i started to remember my stepdad starting when i was around 8 yrs old touching my private area. one day my mother was at the store i had a bad pain in my rt.side. my stepdad said let me see. he asked me where it hurt i told him 2 times. he said take...
482 I have a long list of things from...
I have a long list of things from addiction to adultery, lying, hurting others, relationships,past humiliation, regret,shame, abuse,substance abuse, The first time that I remember I was 3 the first time I was raped it went on until I was 13 and when I turned 13 everyone in my life left my stepmom and...
483 when i was younger i was abused...
when i was younger i was abused by my cousin.. it went on for about five years... i didnt know what to do... it was embarassing to tell anyone.. i didnt want to get yelled at for not sticking up for myself... it has affected the way i act sometimes because it is always sitting in the back of my mind......
484 I went through sexual puberty when...
I went through sexual puberty when I was 5 years old. I was extremely curious and didn't know if I was normal. When I was about 8, my best friend (7) and I looked at his little sister (5) changing for the purpose of curiosity and sexual arousal. I cannot get the memory out of my mind and I am unsure...
485 During my younger life, as a teen,...
During my younger life, as a teen, through adulthood, I had had several abortions. I was very promiscuous and was not sure why. I later discovered that I had been abused as a child and had somehow repressed the memories until my 40's. I regret and I feel shame about them. I belive that the abortions...
486 i abuse cocaine often for the past...
i abuse cocaine often for the past 3 years since college
487 My older brother molested me for...
My older brother molested me for years. When I finally told my family my parents failed to get the family together and discuss it. My Father was the only one who spoke openly to me about it, asking questions and questioning my brother about it. I felt he understood but could not relate and therefore...
488 Dear God, I am addicted to prescription...
Dear God, I am addicted to prescription medication (tranquilizers) . I have a very nervous and anxious personality and was put on these pills by my Doctor. I do not abuse them I take the amount prescribed by my doc, although I admit that I was abusing them for a while. I am trying to get off them gradually...
489 I am ashamed of who I am. As a...
I am ashamed of who I am. As a child, I was phyiscially & verbally abused. Exposed to violence & pornography. That was so long ago. I'm 42. I've always hated myself...draw people in by being so pleasing & then push them away when they get too close. Attracted to those who abandon me. Addicted...
490 I was sexually molested from the...
I was sexually molested from the age of 11 until the age of 17 by my mother's boyfriend and close family friend. During this time of my growing into my adolescence, I became sexually promiscuous because I felt this to be the way to gain approval and attention from guys. I decided not to tell my mom until...
491 25 years ago I finally got the...
25 years ago I finally got the courage to tell my parents why I tried committing suicide: because my uncle sexually abused me and so did my Grandfather on the otherside of the family. Within two days after I filled out a police report on my uncle, he shot himself. I had to go through the police coming...
492 I love my job well till recently...
I love my job well till recently however I was taking a shower at work after working out as we have a gym thier when i felt another man's hand it was my boss he raped me in the shower and has done so for about 5 months now I dont think i can get a better job and i dont have the money to quit I need to...
493 I was abused heavily growing up...
I was abused heavily growing up by my mother. I was also very socially isolated. I always told myself, "It will be okay, someday you won't be alone anymore". Through the years I kept telling myself that, kept trying to have faith that the day would come when I didnt feel so alone, but that day has never...
494 when i was younger i moved around...
when i was younger i moved around alot and didnthave many friends. i was adopted at 2 days oldand still have never met my real parents... myreal father doesnt even know that i was born. mybirth mother never told him that she was pregnant.well growing up i was diognosed with quite alot ofdifferent things...
495 My father was an alcoholic he used...
My father was an alcoholic he used to abuse the family every night for years, not a night went by that he didn't come home drunk and start the terror on the family. I hate him, I hate his guts, my father is gone now but not the scars, I have been sexually abused by relatives during my time as a child...
496 when i was alittle girl i sexually...
when i was alittle girl i sexually abused my brother; who is 4 years younger than me... i think i was 8 years old at the time.. i didn't know it was wrong at the time; i guess i was just trying to be "grown up"... i figured out how VERY wrong it was when i was a young teenager... i am embaressed and...
497 As a young child I was sexually...
As a young child I was sexually abused bymy father. My mother knew and did nothingto protect me from that monster. I hate both of my parents. They are bothdead. I am now 57 years old and to thisvery day I have flash backs.I would like to kill every person thatever sexually abused a child. I would like...
498 I am addicted to sex. I am unsure...
I am addicted to sex. I am unsure if it is related to my history of sexual abuse as a child. I have sex with prostitutes at least once a week. I have been married for 4 years and have always been faithful to my wife until my addiction started six months ago. I confess in church but I feel worthless because...
499 I was molested by a male cousin...
I was molested by a male cousin for years when I was a child. Though I told my mother and she--as well as all of my family--knew what was happening... she did nothing to stop the abuse. I can't bring myself to trust a heterosexual physical relationship now, years later. I am solely in relationships with...
500 I have a disorder called Trichotillmania...
I have a disorder called Trichotillmania which means I pull out my own hair. I have done this for 22 years... I am 29 now. It started after I had been sexually abused. It used to run my life... felt like I could never live a normal life until it stopped. Now I can see that it has made me who I am, and...
501 As a child was I abused by my father...
As a child was I abused by my father and one of my older siblings. This abuse became so severe that at the age of three I had my first split. I became a multiple. By the time I was thirteen there I had split six more times. I never knew about this until I was twenty-nine and finally had a breakdown....
502 I have a hard time picking one...
I have a hard time picking one catagory. I picked self harm because when I do wrong it is harming myself. Almost like I want to punish myself. I was abused as a child.. First abducted by a stranger.. then molested by my grandfather, then raped by my step father.. My mother knew but did nothing. I lose...
503 I was sexually abused by my father...
I was sexually abused by my father from age 6-16. He used to come in my room or wait til we were alone and then just touch me all over. The sad part is that my mother was aware of this. Years later I asked her why she never did anything to stop him. Her answer was : "What he did to you, he didn't have...
504 when i was about 9 i was sexually...
when i was about 9 i was sexually abused by my stepbrother. i think my dad knew but i never told him.
505 my father verbally and emotionally...
my father verbally and emotionally abused me as a child. my mother did nothing, said nothing and avoided me as much as possible therfore neglecting me. my brother was constantly trying to molest me and eventhough intercourse never took place, my sexual life has always been negative. I got married and...
506 This allows me to begin to let...
This allows me to begin to let go of a hurt I have been dealing with since I was about 8 years old. No one has heard this, including family or my husband of 13 years. When I was 6 my father and I moved to the United States from Germany after my mother left us. Here, he had a close network of friends...
507 I was sexually abused by my brother...
I was sexually abused by my brother from ages 7-10. I have never told a single person, not even my husband.
508 I had a problem with the stimulation...
I had a problem with the stimulation of pornography when I was in highschool. I was a worship leader and mentor at my church and let an accountability partner know of my problems and got them taken care of. Since then I've gotten married to a beautiful wife and have two beautiful daughters. I've come...
509 I was sexually, emotionally, and...
I was sexually, emotionally, and physically abused by a baby sitter and her two older kids, a girl and a boy. Now that I'm an adult I get angry at my son when he cries and screems and I grab his arms and squeeze them or smack his mouth. There is something inside me that does it. I can't stop it when...
510 I smoke too much pot.
I smoke too much pot.
511 Lust and masterbation are drugs.When...
Lust and masterbation are drugs.When you masterbate your brain releases endorphines and it is tentamout to drug abuse. You want it again and again.As such, we must realize this and seek help in order to stop masterbation, watching porn, and such before it gets worse and you act on your lustful inhibitions.I...
512 for years i was sexually abused...
for years i was sexually abused by my grandfather. i never told anybody. he used to show me pornography. i would let him touch me when we watched tv together. there were times when my grandmother would be away and i would sleep in his bed. he made think that i enjoyed it...that i enjoyed being touched and...
513 My marriage is going through a...
My marriage is going through a rough time. I caught my husband cheating on me again for the hundredth time with the same woman. I am devastated and my heart is in a million pieces. I want so bad to make him hurt like I hurt. I want to cheat on him and let him catch me so that he can feel the pain I feel....
514 My family is one of the most influential...
My family is one of the most influential in our town. My dad's a sucessful businessman, but he's an severe alcoholic and has a history of drug-abuse. He emotionally abuses my whole family but mostly me, calling me an ugly whore and tells me that I'm severely obese when the opposite is true. My mom tells...
515 I'm not 100% sure, but I think...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think I may have been sexually abused as a young child. For a while I'll randomly get these weird images in my mind involving someone I knew at that time of my life, but for whatever reason have no more contact with (my parents never say why). It seems so vivid and feels so real,...
516 I've been abused mentally and sometime...
I've been abused mentally and sometime physically by almost everyone I have dated in the past. I've been called names, hit, choked, screamed, and such. Never to the point where I've been beaten up the point where it's extreme like some cases. My current boyfriend is bipolar and lashes out sometimes....
517 My husband hits me and screams...
My husband hits me and screams at me when he doesn't get what he wants in bed. I want to leave but I am scared to because of our 2 children. He really scares me and I am scared for my life.
518 When I was about 10 or so my cousin,...
When I was about 10 or so my cousin, who is a year older than me, would do things to me sexually. She would kiss me and touch my boobs. I never said anything and never stopped it. She was sexually abused as a kid, which I never knew until I was older. In turn, it happened between my brother and I. I...
519 I love getting high. I don't smoke...
I love getting high. I don't smoke weed that often, but only because it's not available to me. In replace of it I'll spend hours sniffing really strong cleaner fluids in order to get a high. I also take tons of NyQuil and/or asprin to get a weird buzz. I've been really tempted lately to do some blow,...
520 I blame my Dad for a lot of the...
I blame my Dad for a lot of the pain I've gone through. He said he didn't leave me (and my brothers), he said we left him, because he was still in the same place when I realized that he was no longer around. We were sent to live with his parents, when I was almost four years old.I actually forgot what...
521 I am a male in m y early 30's....
I am a male in m y early 30's. when i was a child i was intoduced to sex by brothers father he would have me go down on him it was our special time together. the one time that i rember the most was at thanksgiving he and i went to the store to get something and i remeber we pulled up in an empty parking...
522 My father used to cheat on my mom,...
My father used to cheat on my mom, beat her, and for a few years he physically, mentally and verabally abused me. He's a lot nice/calmer now, but I still can't forgive him. He hasn't hit me or called me degrating names in years, but the memories still hurt and whenever I think about forgiving him it...
523 My best friend of 16 years used...
My best friend of 16 years used to belittle me when we were younger. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. My boobs were too small, my face was always too red. I couldn't run far enough or fast enough. My taste in music and clothes sucked. My ideas of where to go or what to do always sucked. Now, I'm...
524 For the past few years i've felt...
For the past few years i've felt i've lost all faith. Nothing could seem to go right. My family split up no one would ever keep in contact. I dropped out of high school to get a full time job so i could make money to support myself having no one to turn to. Later I fell into drugs badly, still giving...
525 I was physically and emotionally...
I was physically and emotionally abused by my bipolar mother from the time I can remember. Outwardly, I am very normal-seeming and even optimistic and happy. Inside, I am full of anger, hatred, and insecurity. I am forever expecting my husband to abandon me, as my mother did, in effect. I doubt his love...
526 I am eighteen years old. When I...
I am eighteen years old. When I was younger I would think of games like 'doctor' and such, where I would undress my younger brothers and touch them inappropriately. They didn't like it, and I felt AWFUL afterwards but I did it often. Now, older, I am ashamed, repulsed, and disgusted by my actions.
527 When I was a kid, I was felt up...
When I was a kid, I was felt up by my own grandfather.
528 I was raped by some people when...
I was raped by some people when I was a teen ager. I never told anyone.
529 My confession could really be in...
My confession could really be in several categories, such as, sexual abuse, self harm, eating disorders, and drug addiction. Here it goes...when i was 4 my dad died, shortly after that the guy that my mom was living with had a son that molested me. I told my mom about it and it stopped. But she never...
530 I often lose my temper with my...
I often lose my temper with my children, particularly with my 9 year old daughter. I often scream at her, not just raise my voice, but scream, and scream, and scream. sometimes I scream at her for no reason. I often say things to make her feel badly and she does nothing to deserve such treatment. Sometimes...
531 i dont trust men. ive been hurt...
i dont trust men. ive been hurt alot for only being 20. so now when it comes to relationships, i expect to be cheated on and to be abused. i dont trust any man that comes into my life.
532 I have memories of my sister humping...
I have memories of my sister humping me, as a young child, on multiple occasions. I do not know if she even remembers this, though she was older than I. I started masturbating at a very young age, completely unaware of the sexual connections. I suspect that my sister was molested by my father. I tried...
533 my mother married a minister when...
my mother married a minister when i was 14 years old. he systematically abused me in every way imaginable. my mother knew and did nothing to stop it. the people in his church and in the masonic lodge thought he ws great, but in reality he was an evil person. i left the house before the end of my senior...
534 my father sexually abused me for...
my father sexually abused me for nearly ten years. I never told any one and and never will I have too much guilt about him getting in trouble. He attempted to inappropriatly touch my sister and she told my mom, he was removed from the house for about a week and then they all (including my sister) decided...
535 I lie about everything. I lie to...
I lie about everything. I lie to my boyfriend and my family. I know the only reason I do it is because I hate who I am. I was verbally and sometimes physically abused by my father as a child and it's followed me into adulthood as a result of that, I feel like I have to hide my real self. Internally,...
536 When I was younger my brother would...
When I was younger my brother would sexually abuse me. I never told anyone, even when my parents asked if he did anything to me because he also did the same thing to other relatives. I didn't tell them because I didn't want to break my family up, instead it eats me every day. I had two abusive relationships...
537 I like being high. I smoke weed...
I like being high. I smoke weed on a daily basis. Like it has been said before, I don't know if it is a bad thing or not. Sometimes I believe it is, but other times I really don't. As long as it is just something I do and not something that makes me who I am, I believe that I should be ok. Weed, however,...
538 I am an addict. I have been in...
I am an addict. I have been in rehab 3 times. Twice for opiate abuse and once for an eating disorder. I don't know why I continue to take pills when I know it is killing my kids. I guess its true what they say about addictions. That is that they are cunning, baffling and will rob you of everything you...
539 Hi;I'm 52 years old and have kept...
Hi;I'm 52 years old and have kept this to myself many years. I have allways wanted to tell my parents what they did to me while growing up was wrong and how it affected me and my life and my relationships! My father was a very abusive man small in stature and every day after he came home from work he...
540 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child by a family friend and then again by a neighbor after we moved to another state. I never told anyone about it and grew up thinking my whole life that I was not important. Practically my whole life as a result of this abuse I have had one destructive relationship after...
541 My story starts from my childhood...
My story starts from my childhood and it escalated to adulthood. I love my mother,but, she never seemed to have loved me back in the way I needed, even from birth. You see my mother had me when she was 14 years old in 1973. My father was a man that was 19 and from Florida, that only came to Delaware...
542 From the age of 10 to 13 my mother's...
From the age of 10 to 13 my mother's boyfriend sexually abused me on an almost daily basis. When I told her at age 11 she didn't believe me and stayed with him. Because of the way my mother treated me I became sexually active with many different boys/men immediately following the end of the abuse. I'm...
543 I grew up with a dysfuntional and...
I grew up with a dysfuntional and emotionally abusive family. I was molested by my stepfather at.the age of 11. I never told anyone and its wrecked my life. I cant funtion in a stable relationship and Im a control freak. Im very sad on the inside and very lonely. I have no self esteem and I feel like...
544 I lied and was never raped in 99....
I lied and was never raped in 99. I just wanted the attention. And I've never been pregnant either. I don't even know if I can get pregnant.
545 I went out the other night with...
I went out the other night with an old friend... We had a few drinks and found ourselves driving to another town to do some coke... The next day I felt horrible and ONCE AGAIN vowed never to do that again. Before that, it had been a few years. I know that I can go clean, but I run into "old people" that...
546 I grew up believing that I wasn't...
I grew up believing that I wasn't worth anything. My mother, God Rest her soul, emotionally neglicated me. I tried everything in my power to get her to love me. I never felt worthy of love or that I could be loved. I grew up and went to college never receiving the attention I craved, needed, wanted....
547 I was molested on and off from...
I was molested on and off from the age of 7 - 13 by my father. I spent years so thin that my ribs protruded, everyone thought I was ill... Then I started to gain weight and did everything I could to make myself unattractive so he wouldn't want to touch me anymore. I think god turned his back on me a...
548 When I was a child (age 8-13)I...
When I was a child (age 8-13)I was sexually abused several times. I never told anyone for a long time, because I was afraid of what they would think. I felt guilt over not stopping it and not telling anyone sooner. It has effected me in my relationships with guys. For a while, I felt like I needed to...
549 I had an affair with a married...
I had an affair with a married co worker and became pregnant. I never told my partner that I had an abortion. I did it so quickly I didn't even give myself a chance to think about it too much or change my mind. Of the few people I told, not one told me that things would be ok. I knew it was wrong. I...
550 My brother and I were molested...
My brother and I were molested by our aunt as children. We never told anyone, and it has never been talked about. I know it was a struggle with me because the abuse had played out with some of my childhood friends and relatives, and I ask for God's forgiveness
551 I was sexually molested by my father...
I was sexually molested by my father as a child. He still tries to touch me now and I'm 22 years old. My uncle also tries the same thing. He has been touching me for years and I haven't told anyone. I also had sex with 2 cousins and I don't know why. I am scared of men because of my marriage. I am married...
552 Addictions are deffinetly things...
Addictions are deffinetly things of abuse! I am a pastors son and even i go through the struggles of abuse. Im 18 now and started college. I havent been to church in about 2 month's. This has been my longest time away from church. because of work, and school i havent had the time. Last night i was with...
553 I HAVE BEEN DRINKING AND SMOKING...
I HAVE BEEN DRINKING AND SMOKING POT FOR ABOUT 10 YEARS NOW. I LOVE GOD WITH ALL MY HEART BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO BE COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN UNLESS I AM HIGH OR BUZZED. IT HAS CAUSED RIFTS IN MY FAMILY EVEN THOUGH I AM A GOOD, LOVING AND GIVING PERSON. I HAVE DONE ANYTHING I CAN TO BE A GOOD MOM, WIFE,...
554 when i was younger, my father raped...
when i was younger, my father raped me, his friends took turns, no one in my family believed me and my grandparents forced me to stay at his house during the summer. As i got older, i felt cold and dead inside. sometime...i still feel that way
555 My father physically abused my...
My father physically abused my Mother, my sister, and me all his life. I am still dealing with finding a way to forgive him totally.Because of the past experience with him, I did not have any self esteem and therefore when I was 16 and the pastor of our church began sexually abusing me, I never told...
556 have stolen from my mother, shop...
have stolen from my mother, shop lifted, lied without regard for consequence, practiced sexual promiscuity, cheated, blasphemed, defamed others for my own personal benefit, emotionally and physically abused my children, wallowed in self doubt and misery, given up when I should have persevered, took credit...
557 I hurt myself to feel better when...
I hurt myself to feel better when I feel bad about myself. I have been cutting for 8 years now because of my past. Its a release to escape the abuse I faced when I was younger.
558 i was sexually abused by my neighbor...
i was sexually abused by my neighbor and his son from the age of 3-7 when we finally moved and the nightmare ended...i always wonder if it is what made me the way i am today.
559 i was being molested by my brothers...
i was being molested by my brothers friend now god father of his daughter.. my brother doesn't know...
560 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child by a family member. It happened for almost a year and I never told a soul. I later found out that my sister had been abused by the same person, I lied and said it never happened to me. I was too ashamed to admit it. When I was 13 I started to cut myself to deal with...
561 I was sexually abused by a relative...
I was sexually abused by a relative when I was younger. It went on for months and at one point he brought another relative into it. I am ashamed about it, but I took part in abusing the other relative. This eats away at me and I feel like there's no hope for my soul at all. I've led a good life and...
562 I have been a liar all of my life....
I have been a liar all of my life. It started as a child. I would lie and talk about how wonderful my life was but in truth I was molested and physically abused by my babysitter's son, my father was in jail, my mother and step-dad were addicted to drugs, and I often resorted to stealing money for food....
563 I've had an awful temper for as...
I've had an awful temper for as long as I can remember. I have 2 amazing beautiful smart girls who love me so very much. (8 and 4) But sometimes I get so mad and scream and yell and curse at them. I do not hit them, I can never bring myself to do that, but emotionally I know my screaming is just as bad....
564 I learned recently that my grandfather...
I learned recently that my grandfather (he's passed away) raped my dad's older sister and inappropriately touched my dad's younger sister. I also learned that my father raped his younger sister!!! My dad's a Christian now and thank goodness he never really abused me (except if you count walking around...
565 When I was younger I was sexually...
When I was younger I was sexually abused/molested by my older brother, in exchange for things like playing his game or candy; and even today I feel like I could have somehow prevented it and wonder if I'll ever be able to give my future husband one of the things that should consecrate a marriage.....we...
566 I have been in numerous relationships...
I have been in numerous relationships where my boyfriends, abused,neglected, and cheated on me, and now i am in a realtionship with a man that is completely wonderful and have been with him for near a year. THe problem is that no matter how much I want to trust him, I still have a hard time believing...
567 When I was 5 years old until I...
When I was 5 years old until I was in 3rd grade I was raped by my next door neighbor's son. We moved away so the abuse ended, but I always felt guilty about it. I visited my old neighborhood about a year ago and ended up getting reintroduced to my abuser (his father remembered me so we got to talking...
568 I was abused sexually at the age...
I was abused sexually at the age of 15 by my neighbor, he was a male and I'm also a male.
569 For the last year and a half, i...
For the last year and a half, i have been getting joy out of harshly cutting my arms, hips, chest, and ankles. When i start i cant stop...i just cut and cut and cut until there isnt room for more. I was verbally abused for a long time, and my father commited suicide when i was young...and the pain of...
570 My step dad molested me for 3 years....
My step dad molested me for 3 years. He always told my mom that I didnt love him, she didnt understand my resentment towards him. Finally, when she was close to blaming me for their relationship failing; I finally told her, in a letter. She pulled me in the living room and asked what I wanted to do....
571 I have tried to overdose 3 times....
I have tried to overdose 3 times. I tried to slit my wrists several times, many of the times were not documented because I didn't go to the hospital. I feel more at home in mental hospitals then anywhere else. I have urges to cut every day. At least every other day, I want to die. I fantasize about my...
572 I was abused all my life in so...
I was abused all my life in so many ways, but I seem to deal with it pretty well. I realize those ppl are just plain sick. It can't be my fault but the worst one is my latest b/f has been leaving deranged phone threats that he wants to hurt or kill me. I was with him off and on for over a yr. and a half....
573 I have used marijiuna, pills, alcohol,...
I have used marijiuna, pills, alcohol, and cocaine to experiment in my young life. Of all substances, I find myself in love with the way cocaine made me feel. I have stopped using it, but I am scared that if it was every around, I would use it again. I have hurt my body from using it and I just want...
574 When I was young my father left...
When I was young my father left my mother and I, My mother soon found someone else to love. I was five and missing my father....my soon to be step father seemed to be a great guy. He took care of my mom and I finacially and emotionally. One day while my mother was at work, and I was home from school...
575 I lied to my best friends about...
I lied to my best friends about my life, i said that i got abused by my father and that i have a horrible life. i dont know why i did it, but i guess i did just to get some sympathy. i did this in middle school. now i am 19 years old and im still hiding the fact that my life with my dad is fine and it...
576 I was sexually molested by my uncle...
I was sexually molested by my uncle when I was around 8 years old. I told my mother about what he was doing and all she said was "well tell him to stop it" (easier said than done). I live with this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach every day of my life because of what he did to me. I have never...
577 I was molested by my older brother...
I was molested by my older brother when I was young. When I was a teenager, he died tragically. I feel like I can never tell anyone because I don't want that to be what he is remembered for. I am scared to keep this secret inside, because like so many others who have confessed on this site, I am afraid...
578 I molested my little sister
I molested my little sister
579 In 1994 I was in a realtionship...
In 1994 I was in a realtionship with a woman whom I loved very much. She had a daughter and another on the way when we met. After she had the Baby, I fell in love with her. [edited because it included a baby's first name] I cared for her most of the time. I had never been around children, and I...
580 I am 24 and a born again Christian....
I am 24 and a born again Christian. I was sexually abused by someone at my church when I was five years old. When I told my pastor's wife about it she told me to stop making up stories. When I was 11 I was sexually abused again by a stranger. Me and my best friend would make our Barbies act out sexual...
581 I am addicted to cocaine and oxycontin....
I am addicted to cocaine and oxycontin. No one knows, except of course my best friend who is also an addict to the same things. I use every day, and if I go a day without I get horribly depressed and just want to die. I hate the feeling of being off of this things and I hate the feeling of being so ashamed...
582 i am in such a bad situation. I...
i am in such a bad situation. I dont know what to do. How do u love a man who makes you want to kill yourself?I am in that situation. I dont know why i am in love with a man who makes me want to die. Everyday, death sounds even better than it did the day before. I dont know what to do. He beats me up...
583 I'm bulimic and it kills me that...
I'm bulimic and it kills me that i can't beat it. I've been trying for years, going through periods of time when I'm free of it then right back into the hell. I mean, i'm not even sure how is began. Maybe i wanted to be thinner, as maybe i wanted to be part of somethings, maybe i wanted to understand,...
584 When I was 13 my uncle touched...
When I was 13 my uncle touched me inappropriately in the basement of our old house I was scared to go down there for 3 years. . .and I've only told one person ever I don't want him and my aunt to break up
585 I've lost faith in all monotheistic...
I've lost faith in all monotheistic religions since I was a little girl. I was a straight A student, teacher's pet, I had everything... right up until 5th grade. When I was 9, I was molested by my male math teacher (the first male teacher I had ever had). I never told anyone until I was committed to...
586 The only man I knew as my father...
The only man I knew as my father started to touch me when I was about 13 years old. It escalated over the years to penetration. He would always try to convince me it was a "special" bond that we had, so the wrong was camoflauged. Trying to pretend that it didn't happen all these years has left me bitter....
587 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child starting at age 4 yrs old. From a cousin he was in his 30's. There has been a total of 3 men that have touched me inappropriately in some form or another. Including my own father a pastor. I find myself unable to hate him as I do my first abuser. I try hard to block out...
588 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child and I have never told anyone! I am now almost 40 and this has effected everything that I have done in my life. My husband of 20 years does'nt even know about it, I just keep it inside and try to forget.
589 There's not a day that passes that...
There's not a day that passes that I'm not taking some drug, or drinking myself into almost unconsciousness. Life seems so mind-numbing and monotonous. What is the meaning of it all? Drugs help me to reach a different level of reality because I can't deal with life with a sober state of mind. Happiness...
590 years ago i was married to a man...
years ago i was married to a man with a young daughter. i used to beat her so bad for really no good reason other than the resentment i felt towards her mother. i feel so much shame and guilt its eating me alive. ive had her over since we divorced and she is queen for a day when i see her but i know...
591 I need PRAYER! I drink and I smoke...
I need PRAYER! I drink and I smoke one cig. after another. I can feel my liver hurt from time to time. There is an enabler here that hopes that I will die soon,so that he can have all of this to himself. Please pray.
592 i didnt know that eating disorders...
i didnt know that eating disorders were a sin but here goes...i'm confessing that i used to starve myself to control the pain in my life and to have some control over my life, since my parents control everything i do, and i'm an adult, in order to make my life a living hell and live thier unfulfilled...
593 i'm not sure about this whole god...
i'm not sure about this whole god thing. but if there is a loving caring god (as ive been told) i would ask him/her to take away the pain, and hurt of my inner mind. i can't escape the need and desire for the male body. i don't understand why i crave something that god says i can't have. i suffered a...
594 i don't like my mother. it's not...
i don't like my mother. it's not a hate but somewhere between. i had a terrible childhood--mental, physical, verbal, emotional, spiritual abuse. i went to counselling as an adult. i decided to stop communications with her as a result. this lasted for two years. my husband asked me to reach out to her...
595 when i was a child, i was sexually...
when i was a child, i was sexually abused by a sibling. it went on the whole time i was in elementary school. when i was about 16, i started dating someone i thought was in his twenties, but he was really in his thirties. by the time i found out he had brainwashed me into living with him. i couldnt see...
596 I was abusing crack for over 3yrs...
I was abusing crack for over 3yrs but I am no crack head. I grew up middle class I have a good paying job, two parents that love me and was in the military for 13yrs, drugs had nothing to do with me getting out, I got an honorable discharge. There where problems with my marriage so I got out and I was...
597 Please pray for my family. My husband...
Please pray for my family. My husband is verbally abusive to me. He has been this way for years. He will call me bad names and throw things if he is in his rage. He has never hit me, but the verbal abuse is just as bad as physical. Other times, he such a loving and wonderful partner, I can't imagine...
598 When twelve, I was improperly touched...
When twelve, I was improperly touched on my backside by a long time male family friend, although I did tell my parents about it. Nevertheless, I believe that is what triggered my interests in homosexual thoughts and later male porn. That's been 28 years ago now and I still engage in viewing porn at times,...
599 Okay. I just recently got drunk...
Okay. I just recently got drunk my first time...and 5 or 6 times since then. I find myself always wanting to do it again. I feel like a "cooler" person to everyone I'm around. The last time I drank, my best friend got seriously sick from a result of drinking too much. I figured that would scare me enough...
600 My mother knew I was different...
My mother knew I was different even before I was born. I didn't keep the prenatal hours that most babies did, and after I was born I would scream and scream for hours straight for no reason at all. I was mad. That anger couldn't be explained until I was almost 15 years old. Anger, loneliness, and an...
601 I was abused when I was 12 years...
I was abused when I was 12 years old by a brother's friend. From then on, I have struggled with my faith and sexuality. I grew up with a strong christian background, but my faith was weakened by the abuse. I got into college and joined a christian group, hoping it would help me overcome my sexual desires...
602 I have just found out my husband...
I have just found out my husband of 15 years of marriage and 20 in a relationship has a 1 year old daughter by a member of the church. They (She and my husband) choose to make us (My husband and I) god-parents to this child. I am totally in love with this baby, but feel betrayed by everyone. My husband...
603 A family acquaintance - who has...
A family acquaintance - who has since died - first sexually abused me when I was 12 and then my father sexually abused me when I was 13.I have recently broken off all contact between me and my parents - whom I never confronted or told who any of my abusers were - because my mom kept insisting ever since...
604 I'm a guy. When I was in early...
I'm a guy. When I was in early teen, I was molested by an older guy.
605 The subject of sex has plagued...
The subject of sex has plagued my life since I was a child. My mother used to accuse me and my sisters of being dirty girls when adult men would hold our hand or have us sit on their lap when they would come to the house. These men were trusted men, from church and school. When growing up, my uncle...
606 when i was little, one of my male...
when i was little, one of my male cousins tried to get me to perform oral sex on him. i refused to do it and got scared and ran away. I tried to tell my mom, but couldn't get the words to come out about what happened because i was too little. she didn't understand what i was trying to say. when i was...
607 I was molested over two summers...
I was molested over two summers by an older boy at scout camp I was 10 and he 17, I have since learned that he is gay. I thought he was my friend ,but all he did was take advantage of me and destroy my trust for many, many years.
608 I meet a co-worker at his apartment...
I meet a co-worker at his apartment to do coke. My partner doesn't know he exists, and doesn't know I do drugs. I'm so afraid because he would leave me if he found out. I like the fact that a rich man buys me presents and champagne and drugs for nothing. I feel special.
609 Been rejected by so many people...
Been rejected by so many people in life that it feels like I am at the top of the reject pile. Mostly due to me just being me, I've tried being someone else but people don't like them either. Done a lot of wrongs in life, living a life of lies mostly because of the rejections. If being in Christ is about...
610 I dated a woman and hurt her physically....
I dated a woman and hurt her physically. She seemed to like it, and small things -- pinches on her breasts -- led to more serious abuse.I broke off with her, partly because I was worried I would really hurt her in a serious way.But now, years later, I'm torn -- was I wrong to stop doing what she seemed...
611 I was sexually abused when I was...
I was sexually abused when I was between four and six years old. It was by a priest, who then went on to abuse other little girls. I did nothing about the abuse - didn't even tell my parents - until I went to college and read in the local newspaper there that the same priest had been acquitted of abusing...
612 It's so hard to pick a category..out...
It's so hard to pick a category..out of the 18 category's to choose from I could pick 16 that are relative to my life as it is now..When I was nine years old my father killed himself..soon after a male friend who was a few years older than I molested me.. introduced me to pornograpy and several other...
613 Never thought I'd write. Been to...
Never thought I'd write. Been to all the weekends. Tell others how cool this is. Thought I was free. I'm not!!! I'll try to be brief. Not sure this is the right category. My story seems to overlap others. Mother allowed me to look at her True Confessions and Confidential magazines, the ones where men...
614 I have been dealing with homosexuality...
I have been dealing with homosexuality for over 15 years. I was sexually abused by a relative at a young age (he was my age too) and nobody ever knows it happend. I am now attracted physically to other men and have been struggling with it since then. I have had sexual acts with other men and can't seem...
615 I have a problem communicating...
I have a problem communicating with my serious boyfriend. I get so frustrated by certain things that I fill with so much rage and scream at him, call him names, and make him feel worthless. I make him cry at least once a week, I can be so mean. I feel immediately guilty afterwards and get suicidal. Please...
616 Although I became a Christian at...
Although I became a Christian at a very young age, there was not enough structure, teaching, and fellowship with other Christians to help me fight off Satan. I was abused physically and emotionally ever since I can remember by my mother, and I could not wait to be on my own, and to escape this painful...
617 i was sexually abused when i was...
i was sexually abused when i was 9yrs. old. and ever since that i feel like no one really knows what i've been going through. everday i come home and my mom sometimes yells and pulls my hair or slaps me. i feel like she dosen't want me. she tells me that i need to lose wieght when she herself is overweight.and...
618 I have a horrible sexual past....
I have a horrible sexual past. i don't know how it began but once it started it was like a landslide leading me to a pit of despair. i became terribly promiscuous in high school and stayed that way through college. I got involved in a relationship that left me with emotional and physcial scars from years...
619 I am a 32 year old female who was...
I am a 32 year old female who was sexually abused as a child. I have been carrying all the hurt and the pain around for the last 18 years. My past has affected every aspect of my life. I am tired of dealing with all of this on my own. I don't want to live with all of these shameful and hurtful feelings...
620 My boyfriend is abusive. He hits...
My boyfriend is abusive. He hits me, kicks me, and yells at me calling me horrible names. I try to leave him but always ends up back with him in just a few short weeks. It seems like I forget how bad it hurt and how much it hurt my heart as soon as he says sorry. I can't get away because I love him and...
621 when i was a child, i was molested...
when i was a child, i was molested by my grandfather on several occasions. i spoke out a couple months later, and it ultimately led to my parent's divorce last year. i cannot forgive myself for speaking out about it, because i know that my parents would still be together today. i have lost trust in everybody,...
622 I can't stop drinking. I think...
I can't stop drinking. I think that I am in control but really the alcohol is controlling me and my life.
623 It all started when I was younger,...
It all started when I was younger, probably about 8 or 9 years old and my older male cousin whom I trusted began touching me. He would take me into the other room in my basement (when our other cousins were in the adjoining room!) and he would make me lay down on the ground and he would touch me. It...
624 I believe God doesn't let us go...
I believe God doesn't let us go through anything that together with Him we can't handle. That said, He also lets us reap the consequences of our choices. Sometimes it's as simple as whom we choose to love. My first husband was an abuser. I was 18 and he was a skilled deceiver. The abuse didn't start...
625 Dear whoever,I apologize in advance...
Dear whoever,I apologize in advance for how lengthy this confession may turn out to be, but I'm scared if I don't get it all out it'll consume me. I have been in a constant and brutal battle with lying all of my life. When I think back to my earliest memories of childhood, I remember times I exaggerated...
626 I have a big secret. I am an addict...
I have a big secret. I am an addict to pain pills and alcohol, and have abused them daily for years. Before I came to rehab in Taos, New Mexico, I couldn't even go through a whole church service without using. I would go into the bathroom and crush up pain pills and continue to abuse them... right there...
627 i have been having sex with guys...
i have been having sex with guys since i was 13. I was never sexually abused i made the choice to have sex and it was always with guys my age. I am now 23 yrs old and in college. I am not gay because i like having relations with females too. I just find it enjoyable to have sex with a guy.
628 I have been in an abusive relationship...
I have been in an abusive relationship for 10 years now. my husband is physically and emotionally abusive.I know that my husband has no intentions of changing considering he places all the blame of his anger on me.I am at the end of my ropes. I can not take the abuse anymore.I know divorce is a sin so...
629 My brother started molesting me...
My brother started molesting me at an early age. After a few years, my cousin started doing it to me too. Then, I went to a home for abused children where the staff and a couple of the kids took advantage of me too. After getting released from there, I found one bad relationship after another where all...
630 hi, my name is @@@@@@,and i am...
hi, my name is @@@@@@,and i am an addict....have been one for as long as i can remember! i drank, i used meth tabs in high school..smoked pot...but downers are my drug of choice.(also heroin, back in the day)i finally got on methadone, to help me get off of the heroin. and took me 10 years to get off...
631 I was sexually, emotionally, physically...
I was sexually, emotionally, physically and verbally abused as a child, and up into my later teenage years by several different people that were all in and out of my life.After becoming a christian at 17, most of the hate and shame and fears have disappated, leaving only a few problems that I continue...
632 there was a time in my life when...
there was a time in my life when i turned from the path of God, i tried marijuana and got suspened from school so i quit that and fast but i drank on and off with friends one evening when i was close to drunk i called up my fiance and acted like a complete idiot, thats when he started not to trust me....months...
633 I was raised in a Christian home,...
I was raised in a Christian home, was homeschooled and attended a Christian university. I suffered spiritual abuse as a student and chaplain at that university. The worst of it happened on a missions trip about 8 years ago. Several of the girls on the team were uneasy, and I believe we were under spiritual...
634 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child by several different family member - both boys and girls. I never really got over it. I felt bad because I was only a little kid but I still thought it felt good. When I wa six I started masturbating and doing other sexual things. I have been doing it every since then....
635 I'm an addict. I smoke meth and...
I'm an addict. I smoke meth and it hurts the people around me. I steal and sell things that don't belong to me just so I can get high. I need help.
636 I'm married to someone who loses...
I'm married to someone who loses control over his anger, when we were still dating, he used to abuse me verbally and physically, after marriage it got worst, I'm hiding it from my family not to break thier heart as they think I am happy, but this has to stop, I think I allowed it and that gave him power...
637 this past sunday i saw the preview...
this past sunday i saw the preview that next week would be about shame. so i figured that i should probably confess now. i have been living this double life because i am ashamed of who i really am. i appear to be a normal working college student that attends life church. but under it lies a totally different...
638 My boyfriend pushes me and verbally...
My boyfriend pushes me and verbally and emotionally abuses me. I often feel like I bring it onto myself and it's destroying my heart. I know I'm stronger than that.
639 I have a problem with smoking....
I have a problem with smoking. i started two years ago. and keep trying to smoke, but after a week i always go and buy a new pack. i want to quit so bad. i know it's gross and so bad for me. but mostly i hate it b/c instead of going to God when I'm upset i start smoking. i want to quit. i threw away...
640 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child by my female cousin for at least 6 years, beginning around the age of 6. Since I am a female i often felt i was gay. A few years after the abuse began I found myself having sexual experiances with other girls my age. All but one girl had done it with other friends. The...
641 I have a major problem with food. I...
I have a major problem with food. I became bulimic my sophomore year of college. It controlled my life for three years. It's not as big of a problem now. I don't throw up as often. But I still relapse. I have a love hate relationship with food. I'll go weeks without eating much then a...
642 I was married 8yrs to a very controlling...
I was married 8yrs to a very controlling and possessive man. I found that I could not be myself but was in fact what he wanted me to be. I had to dress how he wanted me to and I was not allowed to talk to other men. The worst part was our sexual relationship-he would not take "no" for an answer. I didn't...
643 Let's see, I have so much to confess...
Let's see, I have so much to confess I did not know what category to put this under. I picked hurt because it fits everything. I have always had low self esteem. I come off as conceited, but that is over compensation in my quest for approval. In my twenties I was promiscuous and now, ironicaly, I am...
644 All of the above...It's impossible...
All of the above...It's impossible for me to "select a category" for 'my secret' b/c in all actuality I have sinned in all areas of life. Therefore, I chose to list "Double Life" simply because I feel like the image that I'm putting out there for everyone is not how or who I am on the inside. I'll start...
645 When I was younger, I was sexually...
When I was younger, I was sexually abused by someone who was pretty much considered a family member. Because I was young and naive and because my family trusts him, I never told anyone. I've had to put up with seeing him continually welcomed into our home on holidays and have to deal with the fact that...
646 I was sexually abused for years...
I was sexually abused for years as a child by my father who had custody of me. When everything came out, somehow the court ruled in favor of my father and he was able to keep custody of me and my sister. The abuse continued until I was nearly ten years old. (my sister ran away and lived with my mom to...
647 I recently went on a trip and while...
I recently went on a trip and while there became so drunk that I had sex with someone in my immediate family. I was sexually abused by this man for years as a child. This was also the first time I was away from my husband in eight years. When I went to bed I really thought that I was laying next to my...
648 i was sick as a child. so i felt...
i was sick as a child. so i felt that the only attetion i would get was pitty from people around me. now i'm a healthy adult, but i still feel that the only way i can get people's attention is by making them feel sorry for me. so now when i'm at home i'm myself. but other places like at work, i...
649 Dear God,I confess and ask your...
Dear God,I confess and ask your forgiveness. I have sinned most of my life. I have been addicted to pornography and drugs most of my 40+ years. I was abused by a relative at age 5. Smoke pot at age 15 on. I am married and have had 5 affairs in 20+ years of marriage, none within the last 6 years. I've...
650 I am verbally abusive to my family....
I am verbally abusive to my family. Sometimes I will just yell for almost no reason. It is usually only lasts 2 or 3 seconds but it shocks everyone who sees including myself. Please pray for me.
651 ok I am not the abused one my mom...
ok I am not the abused one my mom was. See her mom was addicted to drugs and acohol and thats all that was in the house all the time when my mom was little and she wouldn't come home from school until 7 or 8 at night and she would be starving so she would open the fridge and there would only be sliced...
652 I used to try and kill myself many...
I used to try and kill myself many times because I was being abused by my mom sexually, physically and mentally. I am 18 years old right now and I am trying not to think lowly of myself. My ex-boyfriend verbally abused me and I was so naive and vulnerable that I believed he was going to change and be...
653 i am not married nor do i think...
i am not married nor do i think i will ever! bc i cant control my mind i think about stuff that i wanna do with other people sexually and to myself i am a virgin but i was abused when i was younger it stared around the age of 4 and it didnt end til i was like 14 i didnt like it but the person that abused...
654 i drink too much
i drink too much
655 I have verbally and physically...
I have verbally and physically abused my wife.
656 My wife was molested by her father...
My wife was molested by her father while very young(5-10yrs old). As a result,her mind fragmented into multiple personalities. It's called dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality didsorder. We still do not know how many there are. This cannot be treated with meds, although...
657 My whole life my dad has been verbally...
My whole life my dad has been verbally abusive to my mom, sister and I. He is an alcoholic and everytime he drinks the littlest thing will set him off and he will just go on yelling rampages. even though he has never physically abused us, I am still terrified that it will eventually happen. I have never...
658 I guess this could fall into abuse...
I guess this could fall into abuse and sexuality. I was "looked at" through holes in walls and ceilings and possibly video camera's by my step father. I respected and loved him, yet I held the burden of keeping the family, "the perfect little family". I felt as if I had to pretend. Everytime I bathed,...
659 I was sexually abused by my stepfather....
I was sexually abused by my stepfather. I told. He was arrested and I was put in child services because my mom didn't want to leave him. She is still married to him to this day and I have a child now. I am terrifed that he will repeat the same behavior on my child or my nieces and nephews. I know that...
660 I'm only 10 and can't get over...
I'm only 10 and can't get over what happened to me when i was about 5, I was swimming and my mom was watching 3 boys 1 was like 12 and the other was 16 and the 13 year old sexualy abused me. It's the first time I've told somebody and I'm glad to get it out. I also would like to thank lifechurch for helping...
661 I was in an abusive relationship,...
I was in an abusive relationship, I was abused mentally and physically
662 My husband hit me a couple of years...
My husband hit me a couple of years ago giving me a fat lip & brused chin. I told myself if he ever hit me again I would leave. He hasn't hit me again but he has shoved me and thrown me across the room. I am afraid of him. Mostly he just yells a lot. He constantly belittles me and tells me how dumb...
663 Often while I'm driving down the...
Often while I'm driving down the road I will picture myself veering off and crashing my car into something solid. When I lift weights above my head I picture them falling down and crushing my face. vivid images. in color. with sound. Whenever I'm up high, I wonder what will happen if i jump. sometimes,...
664 In 2002 under the influence of...
In 2002 under the influence of meth, I was hanging around some big time drug dealers. The one I was sleeping with got really posessive and hallucinaginic and beat me up. This was an excuse for the other guys that didn't like him to go after him. I was with three other people and we all went to where...
665 I use meth. I don't buy it, go...
I use meth. I don't buy it, go looking for it, or anything like that, but when it's available to me, I can't say no. I go through periods of using 3-4 times a week for months, sometimes even up to a year, then when whoever I was using with gets busted, or moves out of my life, I will go for months or...
666 This secret falls under many of...
This secret falls under many of these categories: double life, adultery, hurt, lying, relationships, humiliation, regret, shame, abuse and lust. My whole life I knew that something wasn't right in my life. Never really knew what it was because as a child you put all your trust, faith and hope in your...
667 I am not a religious person. I...
I am not a religious person. I believe in God, but my faith in the church has been crushed by years of repeated hypocricy, lies, betrayal, abuse, cover-ups, scams, and deceit.I have spent over an hour looking at this site. I saw the sign for it driving home earlier this week, and then on my way to work...
668 Growing up I was molested by my...
Growing up I was molested by my mother's sister and as a result I grew up thinking that it was ok to do sexual things with family members. This same aunt had a daugher and I did the same things to her that my aunt had did to me. Then I started to do those same things to another cousin of mine and although...
669 For the first 14 years of my life...
For the first 14 years of my life I was physically, mentally, spiritually, and sexually abused or abandoned by everyone I knew. The worst part is through the abuse it changed my outlook on my relationships with people. I began abusing everyone around me to make me feel normal. Or get back at someone...
670 I have battled a secret eating...
I have battled a secret eating disorder off and on for several years. I know it is a control issue. Things go out of control in my life and I control my food as an alternative since I can't control anything else. I don't eat for days and others I binge and purge or abuse laxatives. I never really thought...
671 I stopped drinking but I don't...
I stopped drinking but I don't know how to cope with my feelings now. I hate not being able to escape by getting drunk when I'm upset. I don't know how to handle my emotions and sadness now. I miss drinking.
672 I don't know why I am the way I...
I don't know why I am the way I am. I can't remember being sexually abused but I know something must of happened to me to make me how I am today. I was the babysitter (I was 23yrs old) and the kid's friend was 15. I liked that they had a crush on me. I liked the attention. We had sex. He was a virgin...
673 i have been in a relationship for...
i have been in a relationship for several years with my boyfriend and we are not married, but have 2 beautiful boys together. my oldest is a daddy;s boy really bad and daddy loves his boys and he always swore that he would never be like his dad (absent). he is a great dad, however i'm abused by...
674 I been abused as an adult and as...
I been abused as an adult and as a child among other things
675 I can not, no matter what, seem...
I can not, no matter what, seem to let go of my bitterness that I carry for everyone that has ever caused me pain and hurt. Not even finding my way back into church and renewing my everyday commitment to God and loving every minute of it, is helping. Even seeing the Sickness within "Bitterness" service,...
676 Years ago I asked my father, "How...
Years ago I asked my father, "How does a daddy justify selling his little girl?" He replied, "I needed to pay the rent, put food on the table and I liked having a few coins to jangle in my pocket." Last week, sitting on the steps of the house I was raised in, I asked, "Mom, do you remember how much was...
677 I find myself falling into alot...
I find myself falling into alot of these catagories. I thought all this time that it was me and I was all alone here. The addiction of porn, masturbation, lust, lying, are all a part of me. As alot of people in here say "no matter how I try I keep falling". I have cheated on my wife on the internet and...
678 I would love to feel like things...
I would love to feel like things were not my fault...but I can't get past feeling so guilty. I think men started sexually manipulating me around the age of 4 or 5. My uncle let me "drive" his car with my hands on the wheel and his in my panties. In kindergarten a man in our apartments always had me sit...
679 I'm a 47 year old male. I had these...
I'm a 47 year old male. I had these reacurring nightmares about something that had happened to me when I was a young kid. Sometime in 1993 I found out the truth about these nightmares in a conversation with my younger sister--we had the same nightmares. We had an Uncle that had sexually abused both of...
680 When I was a kid I was sexually...
When I was a kid I was sexually abused from the time I was 7 or 8 till I was 12. It was by different family members, all males though.My Brother, step brother and most of our cousins. I know that this was not my fault, but you can't help but feel ashamed and disgusting. God has helped with most of my...
681 I have stolen from my mother, shop...
I have stolen from my mother, shop lifted, lied without regard for consequence, practiced sexually promiscuity, cheated, blasphemed, defamed others for my own personal benefit, emotionally and physically abused my children, wallowed in self doubt and misery, given up when I should have persevered, took...
682 before this relationship i am in...
before this relationship i am in right now i was suffering emotional abuse from my boyfriend, at the time.. and it was really bad.. and since i was 12/13 ive been suffering emotional abuse from my parents. and it seems every relationship i get in is dreadfull and i can never get out myself.. this relationship...
683 I am ashamed of what I did many...
I am ashamed of what I did many years ago. I was in a very bad relationship and had a child out of wedlock. I love my son, so much and I can't imagine my life with out him in it. But His father had abandoned us for drugs, friends and he physically and verbally abused us. He was gone and out of the picture....
684 i am completely unable to forgive...
i am completely unable to forgive my father. he has hurt me and my family more times than i can name because he struggles with alcholism. He verbally and mentally abuses us and sometimes i hate him. i want nothing more than to forgive him and love him unconditionally, but my heart has shut down and blocked...
685 I think this is step 1:My name...
I think this is step 1:My name is Brenda and I'm an alcoholic. There has only been a handful of days for the past 6 years that I have not had a drink (or more).
686 I have anger issues. Mostly with...
I have anger issues. Mostly with my kids and husband. Everyone at my job thinks I have it all together, but at home I am a different person. I am trying to change and have seen improvement. I know with Gods help I will get where I need to be, I just feel really sorry for my family when I go into a rage....
687 When I was three, I was raped by...
When I was three, I was raped by my father. When I was four, my mother started drinking. When she would get drunk she would beat my brother, sister, and I. From the time I was five until I was seven a man who lived two houses down from us raped me. When I was seven until I was ten my brother raped me....
688 I like to smoke a little marijuana...
I like to smoke a little marijuana from time to time. I, like the poster above, dont know if it is a sin in Gods eyes or not. It is hard for me to stop because I dont see the real harm in it. I know it is illegal and know I should stop for that reason alone but it is very hard.
689 I grew up in church and God has...
I grew up in church and God has always been an important part of my life. Several years ago I became curious about being with a girl and I am a female myself. I acted on those curiosities and it has developed into an uncontrollable desire and temptation to be with a girl and is now a lifestyle that I...
690 My secret is that I really don't...
My secret is that I really don't like my husband much. Six months after we married, he began verbally and physically abusing me. He stopped the physical abuse and yet the emotional abuse continues. Last year I walked in on him while he was viewing pornography-- (which is really embarrassing to me personally--I...
691 While in front of people even church...
While in front of people even church my 9 year old son & I appear to have the perfect mother and son relationship, but when we are behind closed doors, I am easily made mad and I am always putting him down and making him cry. I know he loves me all the time, he is always happy to see me and runs...
692 I am a social worker and have worked...
I am a social worker and have worked in the same nursing home the past 8 years. I have many insecurities and have attempted to find employment elsehwere many times. About 10 days ago, I had another incident that shaked my security. I felt betrayed and became very angry and resentful. I stuffed my feelings...
693 My parents divorced because my...
My parents divorced because my father used to beat my mom and my older siblings that she had from a previous marriage. He only became abusive after he found out my mother was pregnant with me. At one point my mom was admitted to the hospital from a beating. After they divorced, he remarried to a woman...
694 I never drank before in my life...
I never drank before in my life other than a couple beers and glasses of wine until this summer where my drinking habits became out of control. I began drinking for fun but quickly it changed into my drinking so that I could forget the pain I was feeling from other things in my life. I am back home now,...
695 This is probably the wrong category...
This is probably the wrong category but part of this belongs here. I am dealing with regrets from past mistakes. I am a gay christian and I have been in a couple relationships where i was abused in all aspects. most that really know me knows of the hell I have been through. because of this I am in finacial...
696 I video taped my little sister...
I video taped my little sister undressing. Thank God she caught me the very first time, and I got into huge trouble for it, otherwise I could be down a very bad path right now.I've turned from it. I hate myself. I feel like I ruined my whole families lives. She hates me, my family hates me, everyone...
697 I have struggled with porn and...
I have struggled with porn and masturbation for all my adult life. First with magazines then with videos and then through the internet, every new development from the sex industry has made it easier for me to get my 'fix'. I am addicted!I have taken the on-line courses and followed the prescribed routes...
698 My ex-husband was abusive both...
My ex-husband was abusive both physically and mentally. We divorced because of it. But now I worry about how I am disciplining my son. I use a rod and try to never discipline in anger. But just to spank him hurts me. I can't get over the fear that I am abusing him. I know the verse "Spare the rod, spoil...
699 After my father died when I was...
After my father died when I was 11, my mother lost it. She was very abusive. My older brothers were either in college or could drive. My mother was very unhappy. I was trapped, alone (in my own home) and was verbally abused. Frankly she hated me.(I can't believe how painful this is to type) In the end...
700 when i was 7 i was sexually abused...
when i was 7 i was sexually abused by a guy.. than when i was 13 my mum did the same thing to me ,she would tuch me and stuff, when i told her to stop she got mad,and she started getting mean.now i am 16 and scared that she's cursing me ,i couldn't concentrate ,i am scared to death , so my doctor put...
701 I hit my kids. I don't mean a spanking...
I hit my kids. I don't mean a spanking on the bottom, oh I do that too, but I mean really hit them sometimes. I get so angry, about nothing really, and it is like I cannot stop myself. I am in my head, yelling at myself to stop, and it is like I am not in control of my own actions. I was physically and...
702 As a child I was abused sexually...
As a child I was abused sexually by my brother and uncle. I told my mother but it went nowhere. My stepdad was also one who abused me. As I had my daughter I kept her away from these harmful people. When we talking one day I told her why I couldn't relate to a man the way God intended. It was only then...
703 My Mom married my Step-Dad when...
My Mom married my Step-Dad when I was 3 years old. The sexual abuse started soon afterward, touching and cuddling. Then at the age of 11 he raped me. The sexual abuse continued until I was 18. I told my Mom and she did not believe me and when she told my Dad, he would make me look up words in the dictionary...
704 When I was a little girl I was...
When I was a little girl I was molested by a woman. The thing is, I blocked it out. I only started having flash backs and dreams 3 years ago when I was 25. It explained SO much about why I was always too scared to sleep at night, hated myself, hated my body, am addicted to sex, etc. But I haven't remembered...
705 I was sexually abused by my father....
I was sexually abused by my father. For as long as I can remember. Because he made a game of the abuse, as a very small child I didn't understand what was happening until later. Only after he molested my best friend did I tell my mom. She put a stop to it but she didn't talk to me about it and she sure...
706 I often lose my temper and become...
I often lose my temper and become physically violent. My idea of discipline can sometimes slip into rage. I have hurt my children in the past. Please help me God.
707 I was sexually abused as a child...
I was sexually abused as a child and have never told anyone, not even my husband of over 25 years. I believe I have moved on from it, but always wonder how my personality my have turned out had it never happened. I envy people who I know who are outgoing, friendly and confident. Whereas I am unconfident,...
709 I use Marijuana almost everyday....
I use Marijuana almost everyday. Although it might be considered illegal, I find it less harmful than modern medication provided by our government. I’m not sure if this is considered a sin or not in the Eyes of the Lord but it is my secret and I’m releasing it in hopes to find clarity.
710 This isn't easy to do. I've confessed...
This isn't easy to do. I've confessed my sin to God and asked for his forgiveness, but never have I told anyone. No one here knows me or can identify me, but putting this in the public eye brings my guilt rushing to the surface. Though I so much desire forgiveness, I don't feel worthy of the cleansing....
711 I am pretty much an introvert..untill...
I am pretty much an introvert..untill I get to know you. I am pretty shy around new people, I was raised in a Christian home, Probably the most perfect home that anyone could ever imagine. My father and two of my three brothers are ministers. I tell you that to tell you this: I grew up in a small town...
712 In jr high I was made fun of all...
In jr high I was made fun of all the time (almost every day). Every day i was called foul names, and told how stupid and ugly i was. I had glasses, braces, a back brace, and we just didnt have alot of moeny to buy nice clothes. My "expensive" clothes came from K-Mart..I was a walking target and the butt...
713 I'm a male college student. I accepted...
I'm a male college student. I accepted Christ at a young age and I'm really seeking after Him, but I feel really abnormal in terms of my sexuality. For years now I've been struggling with gay thoughts and feelings. However, I've NEVER been attracted to boys my age, it's always been relatively older men...
714 Revised:I was continually remined...
Revised:I was continually remined of what a disappointment and bad person I was from a very young age. It wasn't a big leap to start stealing for things I thought I wanted or needed. During adolescents, I would steal from school lockers and from faculty. This behavior subsided. Later I took a job with...
715 I believe I was sort of abused...
I believe I was sort of abused by my cousins. There are vague thoughts in my mind years ago about my two cousins humping me on the couch.
716 My secret is alcohol abuse. I chose...
My secret is alcohol abuse. I chose the substance abuse category and not the addiction category because that would mean that I was 'ADDICTED' to my drug of choice, alcohol, right? I started drinking to numb painful events growning up, and it has followed me into adulthood. I am a medical professional...
717 I can't remember the last time...
I can't remember the last time I went to sleep without pills or drinks. I'm never tired anymore without it. I've told people. They think it's funny. Maybe it is.
718 I confess that I was abused by...
I confess that I was abused by a friend who was sexually abused when I was 5. She abused me in a sexual way and she got me involved in premarital sexual activities. When I was 6 years old, I started kissing and making out with boys my age. I also ended up masturbating at age six. Since childhood, I have...
719 I was was sent to rehab as soon...
I was was sent to rehab as soon as I finished high school and was clean from drugs and alcohol for almost two years. Unfortunately, I started up again and I am finding it really hard to quit it all again, especially without help.
720 I have been thinking about this...
I have been thinking about this for some time now. I know that God is good and is able to forgive me, but it just doesn't sink in that He really will forgive me and bring me to a better life. I have had a problem with relationships and sex since I was a child. My father sexually abused me from the...
721 I was sexually abused by a relative...
I was sexually abused by a relative when i was 7 and my grandmother saw him doing this to me one time and she didn't do anything about it. When I became a Christian that was one thing i had to confess and forgive the person that did this to me. I said that i forgave them but when i saw this relative...
722 I am a male in my early 30's that...
I am a male in my early 30's that was molested by a family member when i was an adolescent. The abuse went on for about 5 years off and on. For years i never told anyone and have just recently started to deal with it. I hoping god will give me the strength to continue on my journey of healing, and...
723 I was in an abusive relationship...
I was in an abusive relationship 5 years ago.
724 i've attempted suicide 6 times....
i've attempted suicide 6 times. the first was when i was 16 years old. i'm now in my early 60's and i know the next time i try i will be successful. i've always felt Spirit with me, even when i was being sexually abused nightly by my father as a young child, then by preachers, a therapist, and others...
725 When I was a young teenager I was...
When I was a young teenager I was sexually molested by someone close to my family. For years I blamed myself for what happened and told no one. It's been a very difficult issue, but God is healing me more each day. Jesus has saved me! I pray for all you reading this who deal with the same issues. God...
726 I was sexually abused as a child....
I was sexually abused as a child. This started my destructive path of doing what I wanted. I made horrible decisions for many years. I was easily embarrassed for who I was and what I did, but no one would have ever known. To everyone else, I appear that I have everything. I wanted to have a "normal life"....
727 I was molested as a kid and raped...
I was molested as a kid and raped in my early 20's I have a twisted view of sex and it hurts my marriage everyday. My husband and I have not had sex in over a year and I feel horrible because I know it is a sin. I know the devil has control over me and I cant let him win anymore. I want to push through...
728 Growing up I was the oldest of...
Growing up I was the oldest of 3 children. All 3 of us were sexually molested by our babysitter for 2 years. It took a couple of years for everything to come out about what had happened. Our family never spoke of what had happened. It has affected my marriage and how I raise my children. I am very over...
729 I was emotionally abused growing...
I was emotionally abused growing up and still have major problems with self esteem and believing I am worth anything.
730 ...
I was sexually molested as a kid
731 I'm a guy. When I was young, I...
I'm a guy. When I was young, I was molested by an older guy. There was no penetration but there was innappropriate touching. My dad knew about it and did nothing.
732 After an injury, i was prescribed...
After an injury, i was prescribed Lortab. I liked it so much, I came dangerously close to addiction.
733 I was sexually abused as a child....
I was sexually abused as a child. I told my parents and they didn't offer me any emotional support. As a matter of fact, they made me feel stupid for saying anything. It has caused me to think that sex is dirty and wrong. I want a transformed mind so it won't affect my marriage bed!
